Fantasy World Dizzy

I knew you'd come to my recsue!

I am only aware of the Dizzy series as 'that one with the Egg man'. I think I've played it in the distant past, and by 'it' I mean 'something with an Egg'. So, let's make that a bit more concrete by actually playing Fantasy World Dizzy.

The titular Dizzy is a walking, talking egg with a desire to flip everywhere - in the movement sense, not that he goes berserk with rage or anything. While walking in the woods, King Troll kidnapped Dizzy's girlfriend Daisy, and in video gaming that can only mean one thing: We must rescue the princess!

Will Dizzy dance his way to Daisy or will those three lives of his be lost quicker than I can cook an egg?

Do you cook eggs? You fry them, don't you? Or boil them.

I don't like eggs, so I don't need to know what to do with them.

Let's get on with it.

Exile

Ni! Ni, ni!, Ni!

Source // Moby Games

I originally thought Exile was another game entirely, but comparing Exile with Exile (that is, comparing a Metroid-like Newtonian physics simulator with a controversial action RPG following a time travelling Syrian assassin) it is clear to see that Exile went into the 1001 list and Exile was left out.

Still following? Good, because you'll need some brains to play Exile, which obviously means I'm out of luck.

The NewZealand Story

HELP ME.

Source // Wikipedia

Brightly coloured graphics are a funny thing. They may look welcoming and child-friendly, but underneath the pixels can lay a devious little platformer whose rules are simple but success can be hard to come by.

So it is with The NewZealand Story, a 100% factually accurate account of the entire story of New Zealand. A bunch of kiwis (ignore the fact that they look like lil chickens here, they're kiwis - kiwis in shoes) have been captured by a leopard seal (ignore the fact that he just swam all the way from the Antarctic to waltz into a zoo to kidnap kiwis).

One lucky kiwi, Tiki, has managed to evade capture and has tasked himself with retrieving and rescuing the rest of the... pack...? Tribe? A tribe of kiwis, says the Internet.

Whatever they are, whatever they look like, the goal is simple - platform your way to success.

C'mon little kiwi fella, let's see what you've got.

Zak McKracken and the Alien Mindbenders

"WORLDWIDE STUPIDITY EPIDEMIC LINKED TO SPACE ALIENS IN PHONE COMPANY"

Source // Moby Games

As far as attention-grabbing titles go, Zak McKracken and the Alien Mindbenders has to be up there with the best and is perhaps fitting for an otherworldly adventure starring a journalist fed up with his assignments.

I've not had the greatest of times with point and clicks adventures, perhaps because I didn't play these classics during my formative gaming years. Will my brain be able to think outside enough boxes to get past the devious puzzles the genre is notorious for?

I'm going to bet 'no', but let's find out.

NARC

Spread 'em?

Source // Arcade Museum

The drug war in America can be absolutely fascinating to find out about. That's not to say I welcome it, just that the wealth of stories that come out of it can fill all kinds of media, and who doesn't love a good bit of media?

I'm not concerned about all media in this blog, though, just video games, and in the late 1980s, the war on drugs was tackled by the arcade game NARC. I don't think I've ever heard of it, so it'll be an eye-opener.

Splatterhouse

The horrifying theme of this review may be inappropriate for young children... and cowards.

I'm generally not one for horror games, but Splatterhouse is about as horrific as... blimey... it's so not horrific that I can't even come up with a good analogy. Ah, there we go - it's as scary as not being able to come up with a decent introductory paragraph.

Oohohohoooohoh, spoooohohookey...

Splatterhouse is a sidescrolling beat 'em up that chose to go down the 'have fun' route, in terms of design, rather than the 'scare the player shitless' one, and I'm looking forward to finally playing it - I'd heard about it here and there, but don't really know why.

Will we be able to navigate the hideously scary hallways and corridors inside the Splatterhouse? Let's jump scare our way into the rest of the article.

Super Mario Bros. 2

It's-a me! Doki-o!

It feels like everyone and their dog knows about the history of Super Mario Bros. 2 and Doki Doki Panic, but I know that's not the case. I don't remember where I first heard of that tale, but my first game of Super Mario Bros. 2 would have been the SNES remake in Super Mario All-Stars - I don't think I've ever played it in its NES form, so we must rectify that at once.

Power Drift

A sprint racer or a sprite racer?

Source // Hardcore Gaming 101

While I'm a fan of racing games, the whole drifting mechanic just doesn't gel with me. Maybe it's because I can't drive outside of video games and haven't got a clue of the physics or something. Whatever the reason, I was hoping that Power Drift wasn't focused on drifting, despite its name, and would allow all players to just put their foot down and gun it around the track.

Created to show off sprite scaling as much as to make a great racer, Power Drift is said to be notoriously difficult to emulate. Sounds like a challenge...

Impossible Mission II

Can I opt for Mission Difficult, or...?

Source // Atarimania

Spies. Espionage. Impossible Mission II probably involves spies and espionage. I can't go wrong there. I know absolutely nothing of Impossible Mission II. It continues on from Impossible Mission, which I also know nothing about, so I am doubly ignorant of where we are in the story.

You play as Agent 4125, and Elvin Atombender needs to be stopped. Scattered throughout eight massive towers are elements to a code, and a musical something or other, and the game is filled with robots of all kinds who serve mainly to screw you over and drain not your life, but your time, because finding the codes and this musical thingy all takes place against the clock, and you've got to get through eight towers before the final one unlocks or something.

I have no idea what I'm reading, frankly. Time to just get stuck in.

Laser Squad

Morale: Afraid

Laser Squad has such a generic title that, once again, I wasn't too sure of what I'd be in for at first glance. The image in its entry in the 1001 book looks a little familiar, though, and by the time the first paragraph was wrapped up, I was going through a range of emotions.

Laser Squad is a refined Rebelstar, and I really wanted to be able to play Rebelstar but still haven't managed to. That means that, once again, the ZX Spectrum is home to another detailed X-Com game where you can tool up your squad and send them on a short journey to their graves. I mean put them through a turn-based tactical action strategy game, across a number of mission scenarios that will test their mettle against hostile opposition forces. Or something.

How many squad members will survive their first mission?