23/06/2017

Alien Soldier

In whitch we fight terrolists and dodge typos.




There's only one thing I know about Alien Soldier, and that's that it's super hard. It doesn't mess around, demanding mastery of the controls to even begin to think about getting through what is actually a pretty short game.

Basically, I know that I'll be judging this game on the first five minutes, and whatever I then watch on YouTube, so let's hope those first five minutes are pretty damn good.

22/06/2017

Command & Conquer

Dunnanah nunnanah nunnanah (Stomp, stomp, stomp, stomp)...




Ah, Command & Conquer. How long has it been, I wonder? I played the hell out of it on the PlayStation, and Red Alert too, but beyond those few titles I've just not been interested in what was on offer from the C&C series.

Why is that? Why are the early games so much better than the later ones? It couldn't just be because of Kane, could it? It's probably because of Kane. Damn, Kane. Why you so good?

Get those bases up and running and get prepared for an almost inevitable tank rush toward the enemy, as we real-time strategy the shit out of an alternate reality war between the Global Defensive Initiative and the Brotherhood of Nod, complete with lovingly created live-action cutscenes.


At least pretend to look interested, Seth

21/06/2017

Worms

Bye bye




When we weren't playing on their SNES, I had the odd game or two of Worms on my cousins' computer, which could well have been my first introduction to the idea that video games can be serious and silly. Serious in that there is strategy and skill required to master this game, and silly in that you're hurling grenades at a bunch of worms with high pitched voices.

Whether it is or isn't a seriously silly game, Worms is the kind of title that you've probably played at some point just because someone else introduced you to it and there was just no reason not to. It's Worms - sit tight and wait for your turn.



Star Wars: TIE Fighter

I've been waiting for you...




I've played some air combat games in my time, from, well, Air Combat on the PlayStation 1 to Star Wars: Jedi Starfighter on the PlayStation 2 to... uhm... does Battlefield 4's Air Superiority mode count? The point is, I'm familiar enough with these kinds of games to know I like them - some more than others, of course - but I'm not a massive fan of them.

Enter the wonderful world of PC gaming, a cheap flight stick and the special edition of Star Wars: TIE Fighter and that opinion might just change.

Instead of playing as the Rebel scum from the first title, Star Wars: X-Wing, you are a proud rookie pilot for the Imperial Navy, serving the Emperor on his quest for peace in a galaxy full of chaotic dissidents.

Not only was I never in the position to get this game for a long time, I wasn't even a Star Wars fan when it was released back in the mid-1990s, but TIE Fighter is now firmly on my radar and those X-Wings will soon be falling from the skies.



15/06/2017

King of Fighters '94

High Punch. Jumping kick. Big Bang Tackle. (I'm the King of Fighters)




There are enough fighting games for every gamer to have their own series, let alone favourite individual title, but keeping track of them or even being aware of them in the first place can be quite the challenge. Case in point is the first in the King of Fighters series, King of Fighters '94.

I knew the series existed - that King of Fighters was a thing - but could not for the life of me tell you what made it stand out from the competition, or how many titles were made, or what it even looks like.

That's about to change...



14/06/2017

Theme Park

You must be this tall to play




As soon as I saw Theme Park, whenever and wherever it was in my youth, I knew I wanted to play it. You make and manage a theme park of your own creation - why wouldn't that make for a great game? It's like city building on a smaller scale, and yet just as complex.

Nearly twenty years later and I'm finally able to see what all of my fuss was about...



13/06/2017

Killer Instinct

Which I clearly lac-uh, I mean, C-C-C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!


Source // Wikipedia


Ohhh... so this is where all those announcer phrases come from. The ones that aren't "Fatality", or "Killing Spree" or "We have lost objective Butter" or whatever. Killer Instinct. I know of Killer Instinct. I know its remake drew a lot of hype, at least. I basically know nothing of Killer Instinct.

What could possibly go wrong as we button mash our way into fluked combos as a skeleton fighting a werewolf? Let's find out!


12/06/2017

Beneath a Steel Sky

It's WHEEZING and BANGING... Like an asthmatic DINOSAUR in the MATING season.




I don't remember when or why I started watching other people playing games on YouTube, but I do remember that many, many years ago, Beneath a Steel Sky was among the first titles I watched, and not because I knew of the game or had played it before.

There I was, enjoying a game from a distance, knowing I would likely never be in a position to play such an old title. Here I am now, though, with a proper PC to watch YouTube on, and a game that is free for everyone to play. Free as in free, as in nought monies, as in no real excuse to see what it's about first hand.




Our adopted home has been destroyed and we're on the run from who knows what. We need to find answers, both as to what's going on, and to how to get through this point and click adventure in one piece.

No prizes for guessing the outcome to this entry.

06/06/2017

Super Metroid

That's how I roll...




My name's Frank, and I've never played Super Metroid.

I think I might have dabbled with one of the many games in the genre, but even then, it's best to assume I haven't touched the series, largely due to the fact that, besides the Game Boy, I just haven't owned Nintendo consoles, and that's where all those Metroids are.

It is the future, I guess, and Samus was just about to do something, when - what do you know - a distress call! We better get on it right away.



31/05/2017

Super Punch-Out!!

Knnnnockout!




Boxing has never really interested me. Maybe it's because it's just not as real as Professional Wrestling, I don't know. Boxing video games, therefore, are also low on the list of games I want to play, but there are a couple of them on this 1001 list and they're on it for a reason.

Nintendo's Super Punch-Out!! seems to be the gold standard for both simplicity and challenge. It won't take much to know that button mashing won't work here, but it will take some practice to make progress on your way through the circuits.

Let's glove up (if that's a thing) and fist someone.

Punch them.

Definitely punch them.