 |
| Source // Nintendo |
I was fairly certain that I hadn't played the original Wii Sports until 2020, some fourteen years after its release, and if that was the case for the entertainment juggernaut that was Wii Sports, what do you think happened with its MotionPlus enhanced sequel, Wii Sports Resort? Did I see the error of my ways and seek to correct my poor judgement as soon as possible?
Hell no. I didn't get around to experiencing the insane overhaul until 2020 when I played a whole bunch of Nintendo Wii titles to get them out of the way before the batteries died and I keeled over from exhaustion.
Most active weekend of the year, that gaming session...
 |
| Source // Giant Bomb |
Fun Times
Wii Sports Resort isn't a collection of sports, but an entire island filled with activities involving Wiimote waggling that is now even more accurate and sensitive thanks to the MotionPlus adapter or extension - I don't know what those in the know call it.
With the MotionPlus in the bottom of your Wiimote, the Wii is capable of interpreting more inputs, more accurately, and that's the most welcome Wii related news that has ever existed because if there is one thing that sucks about motion controls, it's their tendency to not register inputs.
More sensors mean more possibilities for games, then, and Wii Sports Resorts doesn't just add a couple and make those from Wii Sports better, it goes above and beyond in giving players of all backgrounds something of interest to do, and like my write up for Wii Sports, I'm going to have some fun and dive into them all (or all I unlocked and made notes for, at least)...
 |
| Source // Giant Bomb |
 |
| Source // Giant Bomb |
Swordplay
The fact that Wii Sports Resort puts a 1:1 sword fighting game in the top slot just goes to show you how damn good the MotionPlus is. No word of a lie, I'd have been happy if this was all that was on offer, because who doesn't want to waggle a controller like a sword in an attempt to knock Mii's into the drink?
Defensive stances, staggers, huge swipes and thrusts. It's not perfect, so my notes say, but you'll soon ignore the minor quibbles and wish it would look more like Star Wars and less like Gladiators.
"Doesn't feel like I'm swinging a lightsabre with grace, but a stick with dreams."
 |
| Source // Nintendo |
Speed Slice
A successful duel in Swordplay unlocks Speed Slice, which is a game all about slicing things quickly and precisely. I found it to be "better than the basic mode", by which I presume I meant Swordplay itself, as you wait for an oversized object to land in front of you, see which way the judge wants it to be sliced, and quickly get your Wiimote in the right place to swing in the right direction.
Complete your cuts faster than your opponent and you unlock yet another sword-based game.
Showdown
"Awesome. I'm not going to get around to the other hundred games, am I?"
You're not getting screenshots for all of these, so let's get your imagination going on Swordplay Showdown. You stand at one end of a rope bridge. Lots and lots of Mii's are coming across the rope bridge to meet you. Everyone involved is armed with a safety sword and protective helmet. Get to the other side of the rope bridge.
It's just an excuse to carve some fools up, crack their heads open, wallop them in the guts. You don't have to be that violent, I guess, but the MotionPlus has already won me over, and Wii Sports Resort is rapidly becoming a favourite - words I was sure I'd never say.
 |
| Source // Nintendo |
Wakeboarding
Now this one highlights that not everything in Wii Sports Resort is going to be realistic. Past me wrote down that it is innovative, but not tremendously fun as you don't know what you're going to be doing once you catch some air.
I don't remember the controls at all. I guess we're holding the Wiimote sideways in two hands, and maybe rotating it or pretending to tug on the rope that attaches to our boat, I can't say for sure. What I do remember is that I felt I was along for the ride, rather than actively participating.
A very enthusiastic commentator cheers you on seemingly no matter what you do, if you need some encouragement in your life, though.
 |
| Source // Giant Bomb |
 |
| Source // Giant Bomb |
Frisbee Dog
Playing frisbee with a dog, competitively. This was in Nintendogs but is obviously much better with a Wiimote than a stylus. You still need to factor in angles and uplift and curves and whatever other technical terms come with throwing a frisbee, and the MotionPlus is capable of them all.
Whether you are is another question. I'd prefer to just throw a plastic frisbee towards a plastic dog and be done with it, but you can't really put a score to 'having fun with a dog'.
Frisbee Golf
You can easily put a score to frisbee golf, however. I even got a hole in one on the second hole. Impressed? I don't know how I did it. Must have gotten all my angles right, releasing at the right time, with the right speed...
Thinking back, I really don't know how I managed it, because frisbee golf doesn't look like a gentle sport, and I've no wrist strap on my Wiimote, so I was at some level of risk of flinging it into my TV. Fairly sure I didn't stick around for all 18 holes to increase the odds of that happening.
Still, better than golf, even if it's fiddly to throw.
 |
| Source // Nintendo |
Archery
This game makes use of the Nunchuck as your string, pulling it further away from an outstretched Wiimote to increase the tension in the bow so that you can fling the arrow into the target. It was at this point during my notes that I'm questioning just how Nintendo are able to do it all - "A little clunky, but fun. How do they do it?"
How do they manage to turn a game that is based on motion sensor inputs actually fun, especially when, even with the MotionPlus, it can sometimes be a bit of a faff to do what the console wants us to do?
It's some kind of magic, and you wonder why even a decade later motion controls still have some jank to them.
Basketball 3-pt Challenge
A bunch of balls, a basket, and a simple goal: how many three-pointers can you sink? What do my notes say for this one?
"Fun. Fun fun fun. Simple, but fun. Goddamn, Nintendo."
Huh. I must have liked it. Can't remember the controls at all, but I guess if I was having fun, it's because I was either doing well or didn't have any issues with my motion sensors. I suppose that's where the Nintendo magic comes in. If you can easily blame the inputs, you're going to have a bad time. If you can disguise weird inputs with fun gameplay, you're golden.
 |
| Source // Nintendo |
Basketball 3-on-3
"Awful." Gosh, I wasn't afraid to speak my mind there. I've no other notes on this particular flavour of basketball. Maybe I should go back to NBA 2K10 and apologise.
 |
| Source // Nintendo |
Table Tennis
"Brilliant." What a flip-flopper I am. I then immediately went on to clarify with "Mostly.", and saying that it was easier to get to grips with than Rockstar Games Presents Table Tennis, but not as precise.
Given that one is a simulator and the other is a collection of motion-controlled mini-games, that's fair enough. If you want hours and hours of table tennis on a console, you go to Rockstar. If you want a quick game that you know you're only going to be engaged in for twenty minutes, come to Wii Sports Resort - you'll get a bit of a workout and it'll mostly feel like the real deal too, not that you're likely to ever compare real table tennis to Wii Sports Resort anyway.
 |
| Source // Nintendo |
Golf
If you want to see just how much difference the MotionPlus makes, compare the two versions of Golf Wii Sports games give you. It's almost night and day.
I still don't fully understand the power gauge, but my stance and even grip on the controller has improved, and if I'm ever going to play a golf game for any length of time, Wii Sports Resort would have to be a contender thanks to the motion controls.
If Tiger Woods games implemented them, would I finally enjoy golf? I'm not sure I want to find out.
10 Pin Bowling
Bowling is also much improved - that or I'm getting better at understanding motion controls, actually getting some strikes for a final score of 162 - lots of room for improvement. What do I unlock for my efforts in this game?
100 Pin Bowling
Why, Nintendo, you do know how to make people smile. What a silly idea this is. Why is it so easy for me to knock over 98 pins, but so hard to knock over 100? A grand score of 1372. What's that, average? I can't imagine I'm any better at 100 pins than 10.
Power Cruising
The name doesn't really give it away, but this is Wave Racer with motion controls. One hand on the Wiimote, one on the Nunchuck, both moved - you hope - in a way that is interpreted as steering a Jet Ski.
You boost your engine by revving the Wiimote like a motorcycle, or one would presume, like a Jet Ski. You can see I'm no expert at this kind of thing. I noted that it's a bit of an arm workout, but I have been playing all of these mini-games in a single stint, after playing other Wii games to get them all out of the way.
Hiding exercise as entertainment works, it really does. As for Power Cruising, eh, it's not the best, but like I say, it is Wave Racer with motion controls. A few people are bound to be interested in seeing that happen.
 |
| Source // Nintendo |
Canoeing
Speaking of workouts, if you want to really get your arms screaming, why not hop into a canoe and speed around the courses with as powerful and efficient a series of paddle strokes as you can manage?
By this point in my run, I was feeling the burn. It wasn't impossible to carry on playing, but you notice it, and my notes for canoeing read that it was a workout, not a pleasure. They also read that all I want for the PlayStation VR now is a leisurely canoeing experience.
I'm fairly certain I've never been in a canoe, but if the water is still and the landscape is quiet, I think I'd bloody love to gently push myself down a river and sit back in a canoe. It's one of my happy places, floating on the water with no sense of time.
Shame this mini-game is nothing like that, really, but for any competitive canoers out there, you've finally got a good video game adaptation of your passion.
Cycling
Wii Sports Resort takes place on an island full of activities. We've seen most of the activities by now, but we've not seen much of the island. Enter the last few events we've got, starting with the cycling, which takes us on a loop around the island as we frantically waggle our Wiimotes and Nunchucks.
I think my notes speak for themselves here: "Not sure what rhythm it wants, but fuck, it's an effort. If you really like cycling, go for it, but it's not a favourite of mine. Not when the nunchuck wire wants to flap around everywhere."
If there was some way of attaching the controllers to our feet, maybe I'd like cycling even more. It'd be closer to the real thing, at least. Instead, you're just moving your hands up and down repeatedly until you cross the finish line or die trying.
I suppose it is as much of an effort as the real sport, even if you're using completely different muscle groups. It's cycling-adjacent, perhaps. As I say, not a favourite.
Skydiving
You probably didn't see much of the island as you struggled to cycle around it. Will skydiving make things easier to see? Well, not really.
Initially, you think 'how hard can it be to balance a Wiimote', but it soon turns into a game of catching other skydivers so that you can take group photos of you all linked together before your parachutes open.
They might be interesting photos to share if you weren't all silly-looking Mii's and the Wii had some sharing capabilities. As such, skydiving is just a nice change of pace, something that lets you give your arms a rest from all that cycling.
Island Flyover
It's no Microsoft Flight Simulator, but it does engage your childlike imagination by asking you to hold the Wiimote like a paper aeroplane, and making the engine noises as you fly it around is optional.
Progress in this by flying over points of interest to learn more about the island, including where all your favourite events take place, and you'll unlock some friendly weaponry to pop balloons and engage in dogfights, should you have a second Wiimote for another player to compete against. That rules me out.
Final Word
Wii Sports Resort had me at sword fighting, and more or less continued to interest me with each and every game after that. Some more than others, obviously, but there is more than enough available for players to try out and find some favourites.
The MotionPlus is a fantastic bit of kit to have. It doesn't solve all the problems with motion controls but it makes a great many of them unnoticeable and renders the original Wii Sports obsolete. I think I said it was like a tech demo of what the Nintendo Wii could do. Well, Wii Sports Resort is that tech demo made into a full game that knocks its competitors out of the park.
Does it have any competitors? Did anyone bother to compete with Nintendo at their own game? Not knowing much about the Wii I wouldn't know the answer, but if this 1001 list is anything to go by, it seems not.
Some of these games could be fleshed out into full titles of their own, but if having them all in one package is the best we're going to get, then we ought to be glad Wii Sports Resort exists because it's one hell of a good show.
Seek it out, play it, enjoy it, and secretly get fitter in the process.
Fun Facts
We could have had a fishing mini-game? Forget everything I said, Wii Sports Resort is rubbish.
Wii Sports Resort, developed by Nintendo EAD Group No. 2, first released in 2009.
Version played: Nintendo Wii, 2009.