Alien Soldier

In whitch we fight terrolists and dodge typos.

There's only one thing I know about Alien Soldier, and that's that it's super hard. It doesn't mess around, demanding mastery of the controls to even begin to think about getting through what is actually a pretty short game.

Basically, I know that I'll be judging this game on the first five minutes, and whatever I then watch on YouTube, so let's hope those first five minutes are pretty damn good.

Ecco the Dolphin

Underwater escort missions? My favourite!

I certainly didn't come across Ecco the Dolphin in my childhood, but when and where I did finally see it is anyone's guess. P2 remembers it from her youth, which must go to show how much street cred she has over me when it comes to retro gaming.

Ecco the Dolphin is not what it may first seem. Not by a long shot. I thought Doom had a weird plot, but this one might just trump it, for you play as the titular Ecco on a quest to save see life from being harvested by aliens. And if that's not insane enough, you travel through time to do so too.

I thought it was just a relaxing platformer of sorts. How terribly wrong I was.

Gunstar Heroes

Your journey ends here!

Sometimes it feels like there are an alarmingly high number of games on this 1001 list that I just don't know anything about. I don't think the number is that high, but I don't even know of Gunstar Heroes in passing, so I'm going into yet another game blind as a bat and seeing where I end up.

In this one, we play as Red or Blue Gunstar in a side-scrolling shoot 'em up run and gunner to gather a handful of crystals before the big bad robot known as Golden Silver uses them to wreak havoc on civilisation. We'll enlist help from Professor Brown and we'll fight General Grey's efforts to thwart us.

Yeah.

Based on the plot synopsis, it's no wonder I know nothing about this game...

Sonic the Hedgehog 2

Miles per hour. I get it.

I couldn't tell you when or where I first played Sonic the Hedgehog 2, and because I couldn't tell you that, I perhaps shouldn't say words to the effect of 'I thought it was better than this'...

This Sonic sequel is definitely fast and full of... rings... and stuff, but it doesn't quite seem to be the Sonic the Hedgehog 2 that exists in my head. Maybe I'm merging memories of different Sonic titles into one, I don't know.

I do know that the best way to see what's up is to get my hands wrapped around a controller, though, so let's lace up our bright red shoes and kick it up a gear or two.

Sonic The Hedgehog

I'm actually in a bit of a rush, as it happens...

Source // Wikipedia

I first saw Sonic The Hedgehog in my youth, on the Sega Mega Drive of a friend, and I didn't see too much of it. In fact, I didn't see too much of the Mega Drive in general, or indeed that friend - nothing nefarious going on, just the way life is. I did play it, though. Briefly.

Most of my experience with the Sonic The Hedgehog series does, therefore, come from playing the games many years later, and I've played a fair few of them. Never to completion and not really for any great length of time, but if you're going to test out Mega Drive emulation, you're going to test it with Sonic, am I right?

He's iconic, his music is iconic, and that first level makes me question whether the first level of Super Mario Bros. is actually the most recognisable or not.

It's a bit of a boring question when you've got a controller in your hands and a need for speed, though, so let's get going.

NHL Hockey

What is Icing and why is it a penalty?

I'm not a big hockey fan - it's not something that's played down my neck of the woods - but whenever a demo of the latest entry into an ice hockey video game series was on a disc or in the latest downloads section, I often checked it out because, as sports games go, they can be pretty cool. Or at least they make you feel pretty cool, zipping around on the ice, pinging a puck into that ridiculously small net.

As it turns out, the origins of these games, NHL Hockey for the Sega Mega Drive, isn't too shabby either, though it did take a little bit of time for me to reach that conclusion...

Let's fall flat on our faces to find out why.

Herzog Zwei

Duke Two, Me Nil.

Source // Oldies Rising

It is safe to say that Herzog Zwei had never even blipped up on my radar before seeing it on the 1001 list, and beyond knowing that 'zwei' is german for 'two', I was completely stumped as to what this Sega Mega Drive title could be about.

Reading up about Herzog Zwei gives you the sense that it is a kind of Command & Conquer before Command & Conquer - a real-time strategy that doesn't have base building per se, but does have unit and resource management, but not in the same sense as any RTS with which you may be familiar.

It's alright seeing that on paper, but what about with a controller in my hands?

The Revenge of Shinobi

Three years later...

Source // Gamefabrique

I actually played The Revenge of Shinobi before the original Shinobi, and I was pleasantly surprised with Shinobi - to a point. The Revenge of Shinobi follows on from events in the first game, seeing the heroic Joe Musashi get some revenge on Neo Zeed, a criminal organisation formed from the ruins he left behind in the previous game.

What is he getting revenge for? As an accomplished ninja in a video game, his master has died after being kidnapped and Joe doesn't want to see his future bride share the same fate. You must head out through stages and boss fights to find her and take your revenge on Neo Zeed.

Given how successful I was at Shinobi, I'm going to apologise to Naoko now, because she likely won't be saved by my inept hand. Let's give it our best shot, though.

California Games

"It's only, like, the most totally awesome game in the world."

Source // Moby Games

At this point in our journey through video gaming history I've mixed reactions to any title that ends in 'Games'. Often maddening to control - let alone get used to and perfect - these Games games make for entertainment borne of frustration, especially with multiple players competing for the high score.

There aren't any medals here. Or sports, really. Unlike Summer and World Games before it, California Games is all about having fun and looking cool while you do it. Except it's a Games game, so you'll be falling flat on your face far more often than you'll be looking cool.

Let's find out how many Californian pastimes we're a natural at.

Marble Madnesss

Let's all lose our marbles!

Source // Wikipedia

I don't ever recall playing Marble Madness, but I get the feeling I might have. Maybe I'm confusing it for playing an actual marble maze game made of wood and marbles, I don't know. What I do know though is that I know of it. That was a mouthful, but then again it is hard to bargle nawdle zouss with all these marbles in my mouth.

Jesus, what's become of me? Get back in the game.

Frogger

Hop along, son. You've seen it all before.

Source // Wikipedia

Where oh where was I when I first encountered Frogger? I couldn't tell you, but my memory wants to say that it was a nice family friendly game, so I wouldn't be surprised if I was rather young when I was first squashed by oncoming traffic. Maybe it was available at school. We played Lemmings at school, so we might have played Frogger.

Anyway, bumbling through my memory aside, Frogger is impossible to forget, if only because everything else like it is referred to as 'like Frogger', that game where you hop a frog across a dangerously designed road network before hopping across a congested river. Only then can you feel safe, until another frog spawns (hah, frogspawn, get it?) and the cycle repeats.

It repeats so often that Frogger is everywhere, so once more I've hopped into a few different versions to see what's what (and once more, it still has absolutely nothing to do with my inability to play the original arcade version...).