Wii Sports Resort

You're really going to need the wrist strap.

Source // Nintendo

I was fairly certain that I hadn't played the original Wii Sports until 2020, some fourteen years after its release, and if that was the case for the entertainment juggernaut that was Wii Sports, what do you think happened with its MotionPlus enhanced sequel, Wii Sports Resort? Did I see the error of my ways and seek to correct my poor judgement as soon as possible?

Hell no. I didn't get around to experiencing the insane overhaul until 2020 when I played a whole bunch of Nintendo Wii titles to get them out of the way before the batteries died and I keeled over from exhaustion.

Most active weekend of the year, that gaming session...

You, Me and the Cubes

Careful now. Wouldn't want to fall off into the void, would we?

The Nintendo Wii is no stranger to odd games thanks to its motion controls, and neither is Kenji Eno, he of One-Dot Enemies fame not too long ago in this 1001 list.

On the surface, You, Me and the Cubes is a puzzle game about balancing people on cubes hanging out in the void. Underneath that surface, well, things get a little weird.

Sin & Punishment: Successor to the Skies

"There's no escape from the Nebulox."

Back on the Nintendo 64, there was an on-rails shooter by the name of Sin and Punishment that was incredibly weird but playable, despite being a Japanese-only release. The only reason I know of it is because of this 1001 list, and my conclusions after playing it were along the lines of "well, that's was fun, I guess, but I don't really need more, do I?"

Apparently, damnit, we do need more, because it has a sequel on the Nintendo Wii, Sin & Punishment: Successor to the Skies, or your regional subtitle equivalent.

Last time out, mostly because it was all in Japanese, I had to hit the Internet to learn just what on Earth was going on. This time out... well, I've got to do the same.

Punch-Out!!

Working up a sweat here.

Source // Nintendo

A long time ago, I praised Super Punch-Out!! for being one of the best-looking boxing games I was aware of. Admittedly, the number of boxing games I was aware of was quite low, and there is something about pixel art that shines above even the most glistening of HD sweat effects, but the statement still held: it was a looker, even if I wasn't any good at it.

In the many years since Super Punch-Out!!, boxing games grew to become slobber knocker simulators for the die-hard fans of the sport, but a controller can only go so far. A motion controller and balance board can go much further, and a console that can't put out all those droplets of blood, sweat, and tears needs to shine differently. It needs Punch-Out!!.

Whether you see it as a remake or a series reboot, what matters is that Punch-Out!! has returned to the ring. Can it make the knock-out blow so that it can be crowned the champion?

Grand Slam Tennis

You cannot be serious.

Source // EA

Motion controls and a tennis game were such an obvious pairing that Nintendo themselves made sure to include the sport in a few Wii titles of theirs, but the addition of the Wii MotionPlus controller meant even more accuracy in terms of what inputs could be captured and used in a game.

And so EA sought to capitalise on it all with Grand Slam Tennis a cartoony looking but deadly serious simulation of tennis, and all the spins and slices your backhands can manage. Do I know what a spin or a slice is? Have you not seen how many tennis games the 1001 list has seen me suffer through already?

Boom Blox Bash Party

Jenga with explosives?

Source // Wikipedia

When Steven Spielberg makes a game, you think Medal of Honor, not Boom Blox Bash Party, but that's where we're at.

There was always going to be a game on the Nintendo Wii about flinging something at wobbly towers and watching everything fall over in a physics sandbox. For many that game was Boom Blox, but refine it a little more and fix what was broken and you get the sequel, Bash Party, the one and only title you need if you want to see some chaos on your Wii.

Don't progress any further unless you're Wiimote has a strap and that strap is around your wrist.

Bonsai Barber

Currently closed due to the vegetable equivalent of COVID.

What does the Wii remote remind you of? A sword-hilt? A tennis racket handle? What about just using it without much of an imaginary thing sticking out of the end, like it was a pair of clippers? But hairdressing isn't terribly exciting, is it? We can't make a game about cutting hair.

What about cutting vegetables and hedges?

And thus, Bonsai Barber appeared for Wii owners the world over to get clipping and trimming in the safety of a virtual environment. Why? I have no idea.

Super Smash Bros. Brawl

[JUST... WHAT]

Source // Wikipedia

I still don't like Super Smash Bros. - I just want to make that clear before we start. I do not get the hype, I do not understand the devotion, I cannot contemplate how a fighting game that doesn't play as a fighting game can continue to make Nintendo console owners go nuts.

But here we are again, this time with Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and it is the turn of the Nintendo Wii to show us a good time.

I hope there isn't any unnecessary waggling...

Let's Tap

Let's not?

Source // Nintendo Life

"Wii" and "Gimmick". Two words that are often found together, but whether that's for a good or bad reason largely depends on who you ask.

Having not owned a Nintendo Wii in its prime, and finding no major reason to keep the batteries in the Wiimote in 2021, if you ask me, the two words have a slightly negative lean to them. A Nintendo Wii game has to be really rather special to overcome that feeling, preferably making use of the controller in a way that no other console can do.

Let's Tap goes a step further, and gets players to use the Wiimote in a way no Nintendo Wii game ever did: by not even touching the fancy motion-sensing controller at all.

Bold move? Must have worked at least well enough to warrant a look in by those who follow a 1001 must-play video games list for fun...

MaBoshi: The Three Shape Arcade

A stick is a shape, huh?

It feels like it has been a while since we've had a quirky little game on the 1001 list, and you can't get much quirkier than motion controls on the Nintendo W-hat's that? This game uses a single button and no Wiimote waggling? It's not quirky then, is it?

MaBoShi: The Three Shape Arcade is a puzzler with a difference, though, as you attempt to perfect three arcade minigames based on different shapes. That's it, really. A million points seem like a good goal for you?

Fatal Frame IV: Mask of the Lunar Eclipse

Remember your rule of thirds now...

I don't appear in a great many photos. I prefer to be captured unexpectedly, in my natural state. Anything posed and co-ordinated is forced, serving more as a piece of evidence that something happened or someone was there. It feels cold and uninspiring, and so I suppose I'd rather be behind the camera taking the kind of photos I want to see. Also, as every cameraman will tell you, you are invincible behind a camera, and nothing can ever hurt you.

That's demonstrably false, but it's the comfort you'll need when playing Fatal Frame IV: Mask of the Lunar Eclipse, the next survival horror title of the series famed for giving you a magical camera as your one and only defence against ghostly horrors of the past.

Last time out, in Fatal Frame II, I thought it was interesting enough to warrant a look. It was certainly different from anything I was familiar with. What's changed as we move onto the Nintendo Wii?

Mario Kart Wii

Blue. Shell.

Source // Nintendo

At last, we have made it to the final Mario Kart title on the 1001 list, Mario Kart Wii. The series has been a bit hit and miss, highlights including DS and, obviously, Super Mario Kart, and the games have been a clear example of knowing what you're going to get.

New Nintendo console? New Mario Kart title. New controller gimmick? Better show the world how to use it. Grab your plastic steering wheel attachment and stick new batteries in your Wiimote, because we're about to go racing.

Again.

Zack & Wiki: Quest for Barbaros' Treasure

Not to be confused with Zack & Miri Make A Porno.

Source // Wikipedia

For a game critically hailed as an excellent demonstration of how the Nintendo Wii and only the Nintendo Wii can do this kind of thing, and one that had the potential to change how we all interact with adventure games, there really isn't a lot of Zack & Wiki: Quest for Barbaros' Treasure out there for us to have a look at.

I've certainly never heard of it, but then I didn't pay much attention to anything that came out on the Wii. Now I've got a copy of this mysterious game, I might as well find out what it seems so many other players never did. Just what is Zack & Wiki?

Wii Fit

Now there's something for your body to do while you're Brain Training.

Source // Nintendo

For the longest time now, I've owned a Nintendo Wii balance board and have done nothing with it. I don't get drawn to the Wii for my entertainment. Never have been. But then this 1001 list tends to point out what you've missed out on quite a bit, and in an attempt to broaden my knowledge of video gaming for reasons I don't quite know for sure, I've gotten hold of a balance board, enough AA batteries to power it, and a copy of Wii Fit.

What am I doing?

Super Mario Galaxy

"I'm going to stomp you into space bits."

Source // Nintendo

After the big drip that was Super Mario Sunshine, I would probably say that I wasn't eagerly awaiting the next 3D Mario instalment at all. I never really have, to be honest, and am only getting around to them because of this 1001 list.

The next up, though, promises to take us on a journey through the galaxy, navigating three dimensions in ways you never thought possible, or are at least new to a lot of people now in possession of a Nintendo Wii.

How will the one and only Mario make use of motion controls in Super Mario Galaxy? Let's stick some batteries in the damn thing and find out.

No More Heroes

"I know a lot of gamers out there don't have much patience"...

Source // PlayStation

What happens when you give Johnny Knoxville a battery-powered lightsaber and tell him he's the 11th highest ranked assassin in the world? You get No More Heroes, a bizarre, almost cartoony, action-adventure hack and slash that will see you doing a little waggling with your Wiimote as you carve through your opponents.

I picked up this game from a charity shop in Edinburgh, but the box is covered in Spanish, so I might be in for a rather European affair when I pop this into my Wii. I bet the batteries in this need charging, as well...

Mercury Meltdown Revolution

Formally known as Hyrdargyrum. Wait a minute, I've used that joke somewhere already...

Source // Nintendo

"Mercury Meltdown Revolution? Haven't we done that one?" I thought as I was reading the 1001 list. Blah blah, yada yada, "Revolution is essentially the same game with some additional levels, but it is also the definitive version thanks to the control afforded by the Wii's Remote."

Why the hell would you tell me I've got to play Mercury Meltdown if you're then going to say that it's Revolution that you've got to play. Revolution doesn't even have it's own Wikipedia entry. It's lumped into the Mercury Meltdown article, you know, what with it being essentially the same game.

Ooh, I'm irked. This'll be a quick one...

Metroid Prime 3: Corruption

a.k.a. Corruption MP_03 Metroid Prime3, or whatever, according to the title screen.

Source // MobyGames

The Metroid Prime trilogy wouldn't be complete without a thir- what do you mean there's going to be a Metroid Prime 4?

Metroid Prime 2: Echoes was, by most accounts I've read, crying out for a sequel to fix its problems. I didn't know it had any, other than the usual iffy controls that I wasn't used to - despite having played Metroid Prime where, for some reason, I felt like a kid again.

From what I saw in the first two games, I was interested. Perhaps not in the story or the characters, but in how the games felt to actually play. At some point, I'm sure I'd get back to them for a little more gaming, but now there's Metroid Prime 3: Corruption, and if I want to conclude the trilo- continue the story, then I'm going to have to strap on this Wiimote.

Ugh.

Wii Sports

Wear the strap, damnit.

Source // MobyGames

Wii Sports. Wii. Sports. In late, late 2006, it must have felt like this was the only game that existed, as families - not just gamers, families - across the world played sports with the motion controls of the Nintendo Wii, the console for everybody, and the one with the gimmicks the others didn't have.

I was never interested in the Wii. I didn't care that I was 'missing out' on anything. I was having my own good time with the PS3, thank you very much. If I wanted a party game, I'd know where to go, but I never wanted a party game either. And so, basically, I'm playing Wii Sports for the very first time in 2020.

At least, I can't remember a single instance of me playing at any point before now. Did I have one incredibly quick game at some point? I don't think I did, you know. 2020 then. What better year to play sports indoors, on a TV?

Trauma Center: Second Opinion

Ping!

Source // Moby Games / Nintendo

A short while ago I said that using a stylus was a great input method for a game like Trauma Center. It'd make no sense to play it with a controller, I said. 

"But what about a motion controller?", says Trauma Center: Second Opinion, the second game in the series, making the leap from the Nintendo DS to the Nintendo Wii. I don't know, Second Opinion. I imagine it makes a bit of sense. Shall we find out?

Source // Moby Games / Nintendo