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| Source // Wikipedia |
I still don't like Super Smash Bros. - I just want to make that clear before we start. I do not get the hype, I do not understand the devotion, I cannot contemplate how a fighting game that doesn't play as a fighting game can continue to make Nintendo console owners go nuts.
But here we are again, this time with Super Smash Bros. Brawl, and it is the turn of the Nintendo Wii to show us a good time.
I hope there isn't any unnecessary waggling...
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| Source // MobyGames |
Frustrations
For a game series so utterly beloved by far too many people, I'm having a hard time finding images of its gameplay for this post.
I have the pleasure of owning it for the Wii and took it for a run during a long note-writing session before the Wiimote batteries or my sanity gave in, and those notes are not favourable, as you might expect.
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| Source // MobyGames |
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| Source // MobyGames |
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| Source // MobyGames |
Brawl serves as some kind of Nintendo museum, existing solely to please as many people as possible in a weird crossover that makes no sense, and arguably doesn't need to.
There's a story mode of some description here. You know what? Let's see if we can make sense of my own notes.
Adventure mode first, the Subspace Emissary or something. Mario vs Kirby. It was a fight. Yup. Didn’t look great. Didn’t feel great. It’s SSB alright.
I guess it opened as I expected it to open. An adventure mode was never going to make sense, and it was always going to need to consist of a bunch of SSB fights taking place wherever the story takes us. So far, so Super Smash Bros. - it wasn't winning me over, it wasn't losing me.
That it didn't look great was probably that the fight looked like two bumbling fools slapping each other, rather than being a comment on the graphics. Probably.
Invaded by things. Zelda didn’t last long. Mario to save the day. Still not having fun.
Literally couldn't tell you what was going on here, sorry.
Kirby vs Giant Pirhana plant. Not brilliant, managed a result. Enter Wario. Story doesn’t make much sense. No dialogue. That’s not what SSB is about though, is it? FIGHT, DAMNIT! Or not, stage clear.
Man, past me was utterly useless when it came to writing notes, huh?
Now Pit is platforming through the clouds. Whaaaaaat? Ugh, uh, we need a plane? Who has a plane? STARFOX! Zoom him in, yeah, that’s it. Bloody fan service.
When I was playing Melee, I mentioned how I had no attachment to any of these characters, and as such didn't really care about what was going on. Any story would inevitably be ridiculous to accommodate the wild mix of characters, so why worry about it being a work of art. Because the story doesn't matter, though, the characters in that story don't matter either, and so there was little hope for me enjoying what was happening unless the gameplay was great.
Which it wasn't.
Somehow it plays better than Melee, even with a wiimote, but then I’m not waggling anything, so there’s that.
Oh, I guess that was a positive. Well done, Brawl.
After this, I must have abandoned the adventure mode. It was a series of platform levels with nothing to look at and nothing to do, if memory serves. Oh, and some weird fights just because. It was clearly doing nothing, so why not just play the Smash part like we're supposed to?
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| Source // MobyGames |
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| Source // MobyGames |
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| Source // MobyGames |
The basic gameplay of Brawl was better than its adventure mode, and as mentioned, didn't involve pointless waggling, so it wasn't an utter chore to play.
It was, however, still dull. Still full of nonsense. Pikachu wouldn't pick up a bazooka no matter what button I pressed. I cleared stages through dumb luck. I was swinging from easy times to difficult slogs. I cared about none of it.
The enjoyment is supposed to come from the blend of your favourite characters and games, coming together to beat the crap out of each other to prove who would win in a fight. A silly playground conversation now wildly out of control.
Brawl introduces video game legends including Sonic the Hedgehog and Solid Snake, in his MGS2 guise, which is quite surprising for a Nintendo game, seeing as MGS2 never made it onto a Nintendo console.
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| Source // MobyGames |
Yes, there's nothing I could want more than Solid Snake and some Ice Climbers taking on NotMetal Gear Rex...
Final Word
Nothing can get me to like Super Smash Bros., not Melee, not Brawl, not Bish Bash Bosh. It, like Rock Band and Guitar Hero and many more, is a series that I know to avoid because there's nothing I want from it.
That it plays better than Melee doesn't mean it plays well enough to get into. It is still a bonkers fighter that doesn't know what a fighter is, or, to be fair to it, it is still doing its own thing. Successfully, I have to say, but not for me. Not at all.
If you've not played an SSB game before, pick one up and see what the fuss is about, but I'd rather reinstall Street Fighter IV and fail over and over again than play a minute more of Brawl.
Fun Facts
Brawl was so beefy that it was burned onto a dual-layer disc that some Wii's couldn't even read without getting a free repair from Nintendo.
Super Smash Bros. Brawl, developed by Sora Ltd, first released in 2008.
Version played: Nintendo Wii, 2008.