Is there any better feeling than unloading round after round into an onrushing zombie horde, seeing heads explode into squelchy red chunks and bodies flopping to the floor? There probably are better feelings than that. Many, in fact. But once in a while, you just need to shoot some zombies, am I right?
The House of the Dead 2 allows you to do just that, taking you on a trip through zombie-infested Venice, tasking you and your fellow agents to solve the problem before it gets any worse.
Let's find out how well suited I am to a zombie outbreak...
Fun Times
When you think arcade shooter, complete with an oversized and brightly coloured pistol chained to the cabinet, you're probably thinking of a fast-paced, action-heavy title that will keep you on your toes from scene to scene, barely allowing you a moments pause before the onslaught continues and you're forced to step up or lose a life.
If you're also picturing that the game is zombie-themed, rather than starring thugs or aliens, then you probably have one of The House of the Dead titles in mind, whether you know them or not, because the style and gameplay on display is so typical of the genre, thanks to the success of these titles, no doubt.
The game begins by dumping you into the action in Venice, as an imp-thing with an annoying voice tries to taunt you. As AMS agent James Taylor (and Gary Stewart, if you play co-op), it is your job to get this situation under control, and you're armed with infinite ammo and limited lives to do so.
Shooting zombies is a piece of cake, be it in the arcades or all the way through to the Nintendo Wii version I was playing (though do play any version of the game with anything other than a controller, because that way madness lies...), and aiming for the head is always more preferable to just burying a load of lead into the bodies lurching towards you.
Like any shooter, resource management is essential, and keeping track of your ammunition is vital, especially when your targets are quick and armed to the teeth, either with actual teeth or just as deadly knives and claws. Luckily, reloading is as easy as just aiming away from the screen, no button presses needed, so you soon learn the habit of flicking your gun, your Wiimote, or your mouse to one side or another, and you'll do it often because you will be caught short.
Levels are full of people to rescue and hidden points to score. Successfully rescuing an innocent civilian from certain death rewards you with points and extra lives, so it's always good to aim extra carefully - but just as quickly - during these sections.
Multiple paths can lead you to areas with more point scoring opportunities, but you'll likely miss a few of them on your first few games, or accidentally stumble into them depending on various actions you take, and may not even know that branching pathways are a thing until you die and get shown the route the took, but more on that in a minute...
Levels end with a boss fight of some description, so it's lucky that in the story you were given a book full of their weak points, which will allow you to make plenty of progress, providing your trigger finger is as responsive as the game is when you pull the trigger.
It wasn't the first boss that lead me to a Game Over, however, but afterwards, we learn a little more about who or what might be behind this little problem we face, and we get back into the action to deal with it like responsible government agents. Are we a government agency? I don't know, but seemingly everyone wears ill-fitting business suits, so I assume so.
More zombies, more monsters, more rescued civilians lead me to a second boss fight, where I did finally run out of credits and my first run came to an end, where we see the route I took and find out how far I got.
It appears that I didn't save the world. Must try harder. I'll write that up in my report.
Frustrations
For such a positive reaction, you might think it impossible for The House of the Dead 2 to have any negatives, but it does - of course it does - and none are as glaring as the near-appalling voice work that every character and line is delivered in.
Like Resident Evil before it (another zombie game...), the dialogue and its delivery do not sell The House of the Dead 2 as a must play game, and yet, also like Resident Evil before it, that just doesn't seem to matter.
Yes, the lines are cheesy and unrealistic, but so is the idea of a zombie outbreak. This isn't a serious statement about war or dangerous ideologies or whatever modern shooters want to waffle on about; this is a game about shooting all the zombies and having fun getting panicked in the process.
While it is fun, and it is hectic, it can sometimes get a little absurd, especially if you are swamped with opponents after you've missed all of your shots and have forgotten how to reload, but that's usually on you, not the game.
Difficulty can be adjusted in most versions, and any sections were actions and attacks cause the screen to fill up with blood and guts and God knows what else can be mitigated by shooting before the shit hits the fan.
Final Word
There's not a whole lot to The House of the Dead 2, but there's certainly enough to come back to and try again, either by battling through harder difficulties, or playing with a co-op partner, or trying to find alternate routes through the levels or simply going for the high score.
It looks and sounds satisfying to shoot all these foes. Chunks of brains and entire limbs get taken out with each and every hit, and some zombies will still come at you, even when missing the top half of their head, ensuring that you stay on top of things or face an early death.
I would prefer to play it with a gun of some kind, and a Wii-mote isn't quite a gun, but it can come close, I suppose - closer than a controller or mouse, at least.
The House of the Dead 2 might as well be the definition of arcade first-person shooters - it's certainly my favourite so far, and I'm not a big fan of zombies at all. Play it in some form, because it's a blast.
Fun Facts
The bosses appear to be named after Tarot cards. I don't know why, or if this is just a coincidence, but it's the most interesting thing to mention in this section.
The House of the Dead 2, developed by Sega/Wow Entertainment, first released in 1998.
Version played: The House of the Dead 2 & 3 Return, Nintendo Wii, 2008, via emulation.
Version watched: Arcade, 1998 (Let's Play VA)
PC, 2001 (MrGSTAR321)