The 1001 Video Games You Must Play Before You Die list is a limited-production, 960 page, 36 contributor, 5 and a half centimetre thick tome of opinions put together by Quintessence in 2010, and I am just over a third of the way through it, which means it's time for another Milestone Awards.
The 351/1001 Milestone Awards have felt a long time coming, but we finally get to whittle down titles ranging from Duke Nukem 3D to Star Wars Jedi Knight: Dark Forces II, so that we can blitz through the best of the best like a Japanese supercar blitzing through the collectors market.
Last time, I mentioned that the era of my childhood was rapidly approaching, and the decisions would get harder and harder as many a bias started to take control. This time, that's proven true. Let's see what's what.
First off are The Indifferent 5, games that get the reaction an off-brand but clearly inspired by a copyrighted car design would get if chosen to be modelled in an equally bland game. They're games, is what I'm saying. These five games are games, congratulations to them.
International Track & Field, Konami
Syndicate Wars, Bullfrog Productions
I.Q.: Intelligent Qube, Epics
Beatmania, Konami G.M.D.
Final Furlong, Namco
Keep going around the track guys. Someone wants to see you finish, I'm sure.
There were actually enough games to fill two Indifferent 5 lists, but there was only going to be one title to find itself the answer to What Was That 1 Even Put On The List For?
What Was Vectorman 2 Even Put On The List For?
We've moved on from these games. Earlier than the 301st entry and you might have made it, Vectorman, but in this day and age (that being 1997ish), you just don't cut the mustard.
When one goes, one must take its place. A car with only three wheels is a mistake, and it's broken, so it needs four wheels, and four just so happens to be the number of games that these so-called 'contributors' could have picked from, meaning one of which should have been 'contributed' to the 1001 list to fix the clearly faulty inclusion of that previous award winner up there.
Without faffing around any longer, I scream You Forgot What?! with the following illustrated question:
Heads. Will. Roll. Whattigattiguddiga.
It is the race for pole position that heads up these Milestone Awards, firstly with The Top Ten. The best ten games from this batch of 50. I thought ten of them were indifferent, and one of them shouldn't have been anywhere near the 1001 list, which leaves 39 games vying for ten positions. Lovely. No overtaking, now.
10: Final Fantasy VII, Square
This far down? Yes. I've not played enough of it to hail it as the future of video gaming yet.
9: Super Mario 64, Nintendo EAD
This far down? Yes. It essentially gave birth to the third dimension, but that's not good enough for me.
8: Bushido Blade, Light Weight
Higher than SM64? Have you lost your fu- No. It's the International Karate + effect - it brings a stupid smile to my face.
7: Blade Runner, Westwood Studios
So unexpected that I'm still amazed at its existence.
6: Fallout, Interplay Productions
It's got its faults, but they're not found in the stories you get from it.
5: Tomb Raider, Core Design
That. Handstand. And the whole female ass-kicking protagonist thing, of course...
4: Metal Slug, Nazca Corporation
Again, it brings a smile to my face. That's gaming, right there.
3: Gran Turismo, Polyphony Digital
The sequel is better, but it's not on the list, so this is. Played it so hard in my youth I could practically smell the burning rubber...
2: Quake, id Software
It still holds up, doesn't it? mlook at it again and again.
So, what could be better than Quake? Well, look, I've ranked it better, but that doesn't mean it's better better, you know? But it is Bond. The number 1 spot this time around goes to GoldenEye 007, a game I wish I could have played in my youth for more than ten minutes.
With those games now fueled by nitrous oxide, where do they slot into The Topper Than That Top Ten? Is The Oregon Trail still clinging on after 350 other games?
No. No, it isn't. These ten are, though.
10: Blade Runner, Westwood Studios
The series we all know Westwood Studios by has been kicked off with the help of the game most of us don't know Westwood Studios by.
9: Fallout, Interplay Productions
Emerging from the vault to say hi, but I suspect it'll disappear back into it before long.
8: Tomb Raider, Core Design
Maybe Lara can find Vault Boy later on.
7: Metal Slug, Nazca Corporation
This top ten list mainly comprises of games I want to play right now, in all honesty. I want to play this one right now.
6: Gran Turismo, Polyphony Digital
But now I want to play this one.
5: Quake, id Software
Do you see how difficult it was to rank these yet?
4: Super Mario World, Nintendo EAD
A survivor of The 301/1001 Milestone Awards topper ten. I think survivors will have to be mighty impressive going forward, especially if I end up defaulting to a list of 'Games I want to play right now'...
3: GoldenEye 007, Rare
"[is this list] For the readers, Frank?" "No. For me."
2: Super Mario Kart, Nintendo EAD
In an alternate universe, Crash Team Racing occupies this spot...
1: The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, Nintendo EAD
(Insert joke about trying to force this one off the top spot here)
The checkered flag drops and that's another Milestone Awards done. Lots of changes. Lots of opinions. Lots more games to play, starting with something called Star Fox 64. Probably another Nintendo 64 title, that.
Game on, won't you?