Skim reading my own backlog blog, I've reminded myself that Sonic the Hedgehog was pretty good and Sonic the Hedgehog 2 was more of the same but not as interesting. They're short posts, considering some of the other entries here, which either means that I'm so bad at a game that I couldn't contribute much towards it, or I'm so bored with the game that I don't care enough to write anything lengthy about it.
Sonic was at risk of heading in that direction, but in this new wide world of three dimensions, a new Sonic title might just be the kick I need to get stuck in. But why have a Sonic title when you can have a Sonic Adventure?
Frustrations
What in the name of all that is holy am I playing?
Checking that I did indeed click on Sonic Adventure DX in my Steam library, I found myself staring, bewildered, at a CG introduction of a city getting destroyed by the nightmare version of the aliens from The Abyss. I say 'destroyed', because it looks more like it just gets 'very wet'. Damaged, certainly, but not devastated. I'm getting sidetracked.
To let you know it's a Sonic game, there are glimpses of familiar faces, albeit in three whole dimensions this time around.
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| Sonic looks lecherous. |
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| Eggman is selling Chuck Taylors on a mountaintop. |
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| Tails, sadly, looks like I do when I write this post. |
Something's going on, and Sonic is going to be there to deal with it. But what is it even? What's going on?
We are in a city, somewhere, at the time of day where not even the day itself knows whether it is daytime or nighttime. For a brief instant, I am reminded of the Super Mario Odyssey reveal, where we saw Mario in a modern city. Here we are, in 1998, and Sonic is already there.
But we don't even get to move before another cutscene introduces the plot.
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| As is your camera work. |
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| Famous last words. |
Wandering into the scene of a crime like he owns the place, Sonic is about to beat up what I hope is a much, much smaller version of the terror that smashes through those skyscrapers in the intro video. This is our first experience of a Sonic title in 3D, and our first direct control is a mini-boss.
Fun Times
I'm playing the Directors Cut release, which ups the level of detail in the models and textures, as well as running at 60 frames a second, and I must admit it looks quite passable. I've been rewriting that sentence for a minute or two. It looks like an old game running on ultra settings. It's dated, but easy to look at, and thus easy to follow along with.
After jumping around the place in an attempt to land on Chaos 0's head a few times, we still don't know where we're going. After doing the work of the local police, it seems that there's only one thing we can do.
Relax by the pool.
Further Frustrations
What am I even playing?!
Sonic Adventure isn't what I expected, certainly so far. What I really want to see is a stage where I can go fast from one side of it to the other, with some jumps in the middle, I suppose.
Yeah, like that. After wandering around the pool, we can wander into the first stage of the game, and our first objective: to rescue someone who really shouldn't be rescued.
From the start, you can feel the speed. Sonic Adventure is snappy. The hedgehog is no slouch, and you'll be pinging off the walls and blitzing past things before you even recognise what you're heading into.
On some occasions, it seems that not even the camera can keep up with you, and when that happens, Sonic Adventure becomes a stop/start experience, rather than a non-stop one.
From the looks of these screens, it seems like a very linear level that is clearly reminiscent of the old Sonic titles, not just in looks, colours, style and so on, but on that feeling of zipping through a level. Missed some rings because you were running too fast? Ehh, there'll be some further ahead.
There are a lot more rings when the 'No Fun Allowed' obstacles emerge from the level. Nothing says 'this is cool' like a something stopping you dead in your tracks. Most of the time, something in the level design stops you. Sometimes, you just clip through the wall into the netherworld and die, and sometimes you freeze for a good few seconds.
Not going to lie, I was hoping this freeze would allow me to quit the game, but no. It survived and kept running.
Continuing the theme of Sonic stages not making any sense, a monstrously huge killer whale starts smashing up the pier as you sprint along it. The camera has been sweeping around you for the entire stage so far, and there's even some dialogue back at the swimming pool that says words to the effect of "Hey, the camera moves, don't worry about it! Keep moving forward and Sonic will do what you want him to do".
For the most part, that's true. Sonic is quite responsive. But not perfect. There are times when the stage pushes him into place without you needing to do anything, like the first few sections of this pier. And then there's the last section of the pier, which doesn't.
Miss it and you go for a swim. Which way should you have turned? When was your cue? I still have no idea, and I managed to screenshot it.
The level continues through more vegetation, light platforming, enemy dodging and auto-jumping before - finally - we find Tails, the pilot behind the crash plane we saw earlier. Idiot.
In stunned silence, the plot progresses.
Final Word
I can't do this anymore. This game has broken my desire to even continue writing about it. I am drained of energy like a hedgehog is drained of rings after hitting yet another bloody spike trap.
Sonic Adventure is described in the 1001 book as a flawed masterpiece. Bull. Shit. Metal Gear Solid is a flawed masterpiece. Sonic Adventure is the beginning the end for the Sonic series.
That sounds harsh, so here's my advice: You must play Sonic Adventure in some form. You must experience the same unexplainable emotion that I went through when playing a Sonic game in three dimensions for the first time.
It works. Kind of. Like, this is Sonic but in 3D. And yet it's appalling. The sound sucks, the camera isn't ideal, the plot is on the kind of level that a piece of fan fiction is... actually, yes, that's what Sonic Adventure is - a very well made fan game.
Screenshots don't do it justice. Video doesn't. Grab a copy and put a controller in your hands, then see how quick you walk away - not necessarily in disgust, just in 'I can't even'.
I don't know where I go from here. I might play a few more stages, just to confirm how little I want to play it ever again, but I'm quite sure that that's a contradiction...
I need a break.
Fun Facts
In one form or another, a 3D Sonic title was intended for the Sega Genesis, then the 32X, then the Sega Saturn, before finally being ready for the Sega Dreamcast. Sounds like a lot, but that's only four years of work.
Sonic Adventure, developed by Sonic Team, first released in 1998.
Version played: Sonic Adventure DX, PC, 2004.