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| Source // MobyGames |
I was never interested in the Wii. I didn't care that I was 'missing out' on anything. I was having my own good time with the PS3, thank you very much. If I wanted a party game, I'd know where to go, but I never wanted a party game either. And so, basically, I'm playing Wii Sports for the very first time in 2020.
At least, I can't remember a single instance of me playing at any point before now. Did I have one incredibly quick game at some point? I don't think I did, you know. 2020 then. What better year to play sports indoors, on a TV?
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| Source // MobyGames |
Fun Times
If you don't know by now, Wii Sports was the game bundled with every Nintendo Wii to make use of the Wiimote, mostly to swing various things towards your TV. In fact, from these five sports, swinging is damn near the only thing the Wiimote is good at in the early days of the console.
With five sports on offer, it makes sense to go through them one by one and see what's what.
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| Source // MobyGames |
Boxing
With a Wiimote in one hand and a Nunchuck in the other, Boxing has you control the floating gloves of a ghostly Mii - your Mii, if you bothered to create one. Barry's Mii, if you're using a second hand Nintendo Wii like I am. I don't even know any Barry's. Where did I pick this console up from?
Anyway, you jab and swing and waggle your controllers in an attempt to hit your opponent who may well be doing the same just a few feet away from you in a multiplayer mode. It's alright, but it's damn taxing. This is a workout. Who knew?
I had made notes on a batch of Wii games to make the most of the batteries, and I'd played Punch-Out!! before this. Not to spoil anything, but my notes are not favourable towards Punch-Out!!, so if Wii Sports is my only alternative, this is a great little boxing game.
In fact, it's more than great. It makes Fight Night Round 3 look like a joke. This is a better simulation of boxing than that. Even with stupid looking Mii's as the boxers.
Wiimote Waggles out of five: A few mighty swings.
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| Source // MobyGames |
Golf
Will motion controls make me a fan of golf? Well, I didn't have a Wiimote strap, and I definitely don't want to buy a replacement TV, so my time with Golf was more delicate than true to the sport. Pressing the A button sets you up for the swing, and it does help if you've taken the appropriate stance and started mimicking an actual golf swing.
Sadly, it was a right pain in the arse to register. Some swings whiffed, others were overpowered and went off target unpredictably because of it. If you make it close to the green, hopefully you're not too close. It was practically impossible to delicately putt anything in this game, balls 0.4m away from the hole would be 9m away for the next shot.
My 9 hole game had me end 19 over par, and the one thing I learned was that using two hands to swing, as though I'm using an actual golf club, was just not working for me. It was better to casually fwap at the ball and hope the sensors picked it up.
Wiimote Waggles out of five: Some pathetic jiggles.
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| Source // MobyGames |
Bowling
Ah, the classic. The only reason you play Wii Sports, Bowling. You set your Wiimote up and press the B button, presumably as though you're gripping the ball in the finger holes, though that is a stretch. You then watch your ghostly Mii animate a swing before wondering 'should I have been doing my swing in time with that?' before concluding that it probably didn't matter, just swing, release the ball and watch it glide to the pins.
I wasn't amazing, but I saw improvement, and it's far easier than real bowling. Who wants to run? Who wants to wear silly shoes? Nah, gimme a Wiimote any day.
Wiimote Waggles out of five: No need to waggle, this is a game of grace.
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| Source // MobyGames |
Baseball
Yeah, this is rubbish. So is the Wii Sports version. Even with a graphic demonstration, I've no real idea how to actually swing this Wiimote to get the most out of my attempts. I got one and only one home run, and that was by jokingly wondering if a flick of the wrist would trigger the right motion, as though I was flicking a tiny whip at someone.
The game itself is too long and too dull to care about. When you switch to pitching, you just have to move your Wiimote and it usually results in a strike. There's no skill involved in pitching. It's the batting where the fun happens, but I never found any, save for that ridiculous home run.
Wiimote Waggles out of five: One whip, and not a very fast one.
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| Source // MobyGames |
Tennis
Finally, tennis. I can't remember why I was put into a doubles match with a clone of Barry as my partner, but I do know that I was given absolutely no instruction as to the controls of this game. I swung my Wiimote like a racket and moved Barry where I thought he needed to be moved, but I had no concept of how I was meant to play this game.
I lost and had no intention of trying to win. I played this before Virtua Tennis 3 by the way, but the motion controls do not save it at all. A bad tennis game is a bad tennis game.
Wiimote Waggles out of five: Sorry, batteries must have run out. Shall we play anything else?
Frustrations
On the whole, Wii Sports felt like a tech demo that was showing its age. Inputs were imprecise, swings were missed, nonsensical movements were registered as perfect. It wasn't all over the place, but it was noticeable.
Having said that, shipping with every Nintendo Wii meant everyone had something to do with their fancy motion controllers, and Wii Sports at least offered a variety of things to do, some of which cater to the slower lifestyles, others to the more energetic.
None of these games is going to be the defining video game adaptation of their sports, though Bowling comes the closest, but they're all going to offer some degree of fun, which was what the Wii was all about. That and accessibility, and there again, Wii Sports has seemingly everyone covered.
If you want a light-hearted game where you don't have to think much, and for some reason want that game to help you exercise, even if just a little, then Wii Sports should find its way towards the top of your list. But there are better games that do what Wii Sports does. This is just the first. The very notable, not to be ignored first, but one that can and will be improved upon for sure.
Fun Facts
Nintendo didn't think players would buy a Wii to play Wii Sports, so bundled the game with the console and got people to tell everyone how great it was through word of mouth. And you know how many people went nuts for the Wii after that.
Wii Sports, developed by Nintendo EAD, first released in 2006.
Version played: Wii, 2006.