I'm no stranger to strange games. That's not to say I always play weird titles, no. Probably the opposite. It's just that I am aware of, and have played a fair few games that are bonkers, so when Katamari Damacy rolls into view, I'm prepared for it.
This game is about as Japanese as they come. If we're to believe Wikipedia without fact-checking, the title translates to 'clump of souls'. How's that for absurd? Wait until you hear about the gameplay...
Fun Times
We begin with... this. Whatever this is. It's baffling, it's magical, and it's accompanied by a guy humming the tune of the game, acapella style. The 1001 write up calls the music 'genuinely unclassifiable', and it's off to a good start.
The aim of the game s simple: Roll a sticky ball (a Katamari) around a level, picking up all manner of items so that your ball grows bigger, and can stick to more stuff - bigger stuff - and grow bigger still.
A small little tutorial covers the movement, where you, the Prince, shuffle around your Katamari, pushing and pulling it around the place as best you can.
But why does a Prince need to hoover up junk with a ball anyway? Katamari Damacy better have a good plot...
The King, presumably after some heavy drinking, bumbled his way through the cosmos, smashing up all the stars. Ignoring the physical complications for a minute, we've been roped into fixing this mess, and we'll be replacing the stars with increasingly large balls of junk.
And so we begin, plonked on one of the messiest, deadliest tables you could find in a home, covered in rubbish, upright pins, loose screws... you name it, it's here, and it's our job to roll it all up.
Manoeuvring your ball can be tricky sometimes, as you move the analogue sticks one way or another. Moving them in sync tends to push your ball, and moving them independently usually moves the Prince around the ball, so that you can turn in tight spaces and get your bearings and so on.
There's really not much to it, so you just look for a load of junk and plough right into it, hoping the pieces are small enough for you to pick up.
Levels are absolutely littered with crap to roll into, and the more of it you find, the more of it you can grab. From pins and buttons to chunks of fruit and lipsticks, on and on, up to entire skyscrapers by the end of the game.
While it's a chill-out kinda game, there are threats to think about. Living creatures can sneak up on you from behind, and sudden bumps of your ball will knock things loose, causing some small amount of shrinkage.
Not to worry, though. You'll be able to snag living creatures soon enough...
Because mindlessly rolling into things doesn't serve up too much of a challenge, our second stab at star-making takes place under a time limit. So long as we're 20 centimetres big by the point, it's all good.
The King doesn't seem very happy with whatever we give him, though. He flips and flops between proud father and dissatisfied customer with every other bit of dialogue, but he definitely is quite the character.
As is the entire game. Out of nowhere, there's a cutscene of two children watching a kids show that is interrupted by a news anchor stating the obvious, before cutting back to their show. What on earth was that about? Why are the people cubes? How drunk were you when creating/destroying the cosmos, King?
I head to the mission select screen once more, and this time see an option that intrigues me.
Make Cancer. That's a strange name for a level. I would imagine it's related to the constellation. I sure hope it is.
You want me to roll up as many crabs as I can in 5 minutes? Alright. You're the boss.
Whaaaaaaaaaaat?
Final Word
After a few levels, I had seen enough of Katamari Damacy to get the gist of things. Roll balls, collect stuff, roll bigger balls, collect bigger things, time limit! There's really not much more to say about it. If you want to go for the high scores, knock yourself out. If you just want to breeze through it, I'm sure you can get a fair way through it without hitting any stumbling blocks.
But should you? Should you roll so much that you roll up entire cities, turning them into stars so that the night can shine once more? Is that a reasonable use of your time? I can't answer that, knowing what I do with my free time. But if it's a fun thing to do, it can't be a waste of time, right? Is Katamari Damacy fun?
Yes? For a bit? I guess your mileage may vary. I'm not a completionist for things I don't care an awful lot about, and that includes Katamari Damacy. However, it is silly enough that it might get one more go, sometime down the line. I do want to see the progression in size of all the stuff that I can roll up. There's so much of it to grab, too. Things that make sense and things that don't. Pets. People. You want to roll a giant sticky ball into someone face first, don't you? Who doesn't?
I guess the appeal of Katamari Damacy is that it offers what few other games offer. A silly break from all things sensible. A bizarre, enjoyable time waster. Maybe even some kind of stress relief. Play it, even if just for a little bit.
Fun Facts
While there was support for the idea of Katamari Damacy, the designer, Keita Takahashi, was an artist, not a developer. Getting it off the ground proved difficult until it was suggested that the concept be given to students to work on. Former developers were then brought in to flesh it out before it was eventually picked up as a complete game.
Katamari Damacy, developed by Namco, first released in 2004.
Version played: PlayStation 2, 2004, via emulation.