Nintendo leaks? Old news. We've smuggled out information about the 801/1001 Project from IBM themselves. Must be concerning The 801/1001 Milestone Awards, some dork's attempt at ranking a bunch of old video games for no apparent reason other than that he can. Who gave him a free platform to host this 'content' on? Google? Write their names down, we'll get on that as soon as we see how laughable his decisions are.
Fifty games go by so quickly. It feels like only a few months since the last time I had a refresher on how far I'd come. 4/5's of the way through the 1001 list. Blimey. Just think if I'd have been an idiot and insisted on completing them all. I'd be stuck on... well, I shudder to think. We might still be farting around on the NES after 5 years.
But here we are in the late-2000s checking out titles from FlatOut: Ultimate Carnage to Wii Fit. Quite the contrast in games there, that's for sure, but where will they end up ranking?
Before even trying to think about the best, we've got to weed out the titles that don't have much of chance in featuring. Titles that exist, but don't really evoke anything one way or the other. Might be good, might be bad, definitely be, in the Shakespearean sense. Here are The Indifferent 5.
Super Stardust HD, Housemarque
Quadradius, Jimmi Heiserman
Planet Puzzle League, Intelligent Systems
Hexic 2, Carbonated Games
E4: Every Extend Extra Extreme, Q Entertainment
Ooh, crikey. Bad time for puzzle games, eh? Even Puzzle Quest made the shortlist for this, but I don't think that belongs in the same list as this lot.
I do like the next award. What Was That 1 Even Put On The List For? always gets me going. What I do when collating these awards is scroll back through the blog posts. That's all. A little refresher of what I've recently played. Enough to remind me of the good times and the bad. One title stood out for this award, and by 'stood out', I mean 'leapt about like an idiot, shouted really loudly, dwarfed all other contenders and even started to make my blood boil'.
What Was Mercury Meltdown Revolution Even Put On This List For?
What an absolute waste of an entry, much like Ninja Gaiden: Whatnot before it.
But what do we replace this rubbish with? Preferably a game we've not played before. Maybe a genre or series that doesn't get enough attention.
There were two contenders that I was thinking about here. One was Stuntman: Ignition, because the idea of a stuntman having to perform ridiculous routines timed to perfection for a bunch of gold stars is amusing, though the gameplay isn't exactly easy.
As such, the answer to You Forgot What?! needs to be the kind of game where you can zone out a little and just button mash your way through hundreds of enemies like they're made of paper. And if possible, such a game, perhaps based on Ancient Chinese history, should feature giant mechs.
Oh. There is such a game. Dynasty Warriors: Gundam. I've not played it, but for a series as long-lasting as Dynasty Warriors, a series no stranger to spin-off titles, I'm surprised that not even one of them made it to the 1001 list. Alright, they may not be the greatest video games of all time, but everyone's impressed by how many enemies they put in your path, and how wonderfully easy it seems it is to swat them out of the way.
Plus, this one has mechs. I've not played it, could be garbage, but I'll take it over Mercury bloody Meltdown bloody Revolution, that's for sure.
And now to the main event, where all the cool games hang out. This one, from the looks of it, is rather swayed by nostalgia and personal preference, I must say. Objective rankings won't be seen here, and nor will they ever on a Milestone Awards post, except by sheer dumb luck.
Here are The Top Ten.
10: Syphon Filter: Logan's Shadow, SCE Bend Studio
Sneaking into the top ten is Gabe Logan and his almost impossibly good PSP game - a title that actually made me seek out a nearly 4-hour video of every PSP game to see what other hidden gems I've missed.
9: God of War II, SCE Santa Monica Studio
A cheeky entry this, seeing as I've played basically ten minutes of it, but that brief glimpse felt like more over the top action-packed fun, and I like the sound of that.
8: Professor Layton and the Curious Village, Level-5
That cockney accent may not last long, but the surprise I had when first seeing this game in action sure will. Just need to get my puzzle head on.
7: The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass, Nintendo EAD
Another cheeky entry, but I felt at home when playing it, the art style is great, and I can scribble on maps. I want more games that allow me to scribble on maps.
6: Mass Effect, BioWare
Yeah, a little bit janky these days, but a world - nay, a Universe - I want to explore. Do I wait for the remaster, though?
5: Super Mario Galaxy, Nintendo EAD Tokyo
It's the game that got me to admit there was something to all of these Mario games. The game I begrudgingly accept to be pretty damn good, simply because I wrongly want to treat all Mario games as games for kids.
4: Colin McRae: DiRT, Codemasters
As far as racing in the mud goes, there were better looking and sounding games in this very batch, but Motorstorm hasn't gone on to give me another 4 games to sink tens of hours into like the DiRT series has - and I'm counting DiRT 5 in that list, and I don't even own it.
3: Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction, Insomniac Games
Part nostalgia it, part brand new adventure with characters and gameplay I love. It was hella frustrating at times, but I pushed through because I wanted to, and enjoyed doing so.
2: Portal, Valve
Short, sweet, humongous impact on video gaming. Can't be ignored.
But it's not number 1. Nope. That goes to the birth of the wonderful Uncharted series, Uncharted: Drake's Fortune. Perhaps not quite as quotable as Portal, but much longer and more impressive to look at.
Is it impressive enough to break into The Topper Than That Top Ten though? The frontrunners of this list haven't budged in bloody ages. Is it possible to do so, or do I now just stubbornly refuse to rank anything higher than Snake Eater? Let's find out!
10: Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction, Insomniac Games
Must be included simply because it sort of allowed me to relive my youth, in the same way I hope the rest of that trilogy will do, if and when I get around to them, and of course the PS5 outing somewhere in the future.
9: Company of Heroes, Relic Entertainment
I've bought the DLC now, still haven't found the time to play it, though.
8: Portal, Valve
It's clearly going to rank highly on any list, but it's a little too short for me to really rank high.
7: Uncharted: Drake's Fortune, Naughty Dog
I was uhming and ahhing over which was the better jungle, this or Snake Eater, for a while. Believe me, I was mighty tempted to put this above MGS, but I think that'd be saying that story is more important than gameplay. Yeah, I know that's what I tend to prefer, but we are talking about MGS3 here, remember.
6: Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, Konami Computer Entertainment Japan
MGS3 doing all the technology before Uncharted and its water. Oooh, water, big whoop. Let me just dig this crossbow bolt out of my leg and I'll show you what 'technology' really is...
5: Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, Rockstar North
I really must return to this sometime.
4: Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, Rockstar North
And then return to this one as well. They've both aged, yes, but the memories are fresh.
3: The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, Nintendo EAD
Sing along with me now. Bahm, bam, buhm buhm buhbah baaah!
2: Front Mission 3, Square
What was our mech entry in this recent batch? Oh yes, Supreme Commander. No, no chance of toppling this.
1: Metal Gear Solid, Konami Computer Entertainment Japan
A game so good that even if you tried to remake it, you'd only end up failing to capture whatever it was that made MGS so special in the late-1990s. It just is amazing. How I'm not always sure.
Close change in the middle, but this list is getting mighty familiar now. There are only 200 games left to fight for these awards. I'm looking forward to the next lot, especially when the next game on the list takes me back to a series I'm all over: Wipeout Pulse. How is this one styled? wipEout pulse. Eh, could be better.
The days are getting shorter, and bathing your face in the warm glow of the TV gets more and more appealing. It's that or venture outdoors, but out there is the winter of 2020, so that's not happening. Stay safe, and game on.