30/01/2021

Ninja Gaiden II

Slow down there, Ryu. You'll cut someone's arm off.


Source // Moby Games


When I said that Ninja Gaiden Black killed ninja games for me (what a bastard), I didn't think it would literally kill ninja games for me, but it did. Sat next to it in the DVD case was Ninja Gaiden II for the Xbox 360, the new and improved (again?) sequel to Ninja Gaiden. Not a v1.5, but a v2.0.

With poor Internet, playing games offline has been basically all I can do, so it's a good job I've got hundreds ready to go, physically, digitally, even those made of cardboard. I am all set for having no Internet and playing Ninja Gaiden II.

But it has been killed before it even left that DVD case...


Source // Moby Games


Frustrations


If I said I was looking forward to playing Ninja Gaiden II, I wouldn't really be telling the truth. I was looking forward to it, in so far as I hoped it would correct the mistakes of the past and actually allow me to play at least some of the game before throwing me face-first into a brick wall.

On the whole, I wasn't really looking forward to it, suspecting I'd have a bad time, and, as is the theme of my January 2021, I was having a bad time. I fired up my Xbox 360, updated the wireless info to connect to the new router (which wasn't the problem, so that's more unnecessary spending), faffed about logging into my Xbox account again, and then realised the disc tray was reading "Play DVD".

Clicking the button to load into this mysterious DVD, I was told that to play it, I'd have to put this disc into an Xbox 360. Hmm. Could have sworn I've just done that...

I took the disc out. It was dirty, but not scratched. I've seen worse, but I've seen better. I rubbed it as best I could and returned it to the Xbox 360. "Play Game", it said. Progress. Unable to read the disc. No progress. I cleaned it again. "Play Ninja Gaiden II", it said. That's even more progress. Unable to read the disc.

This is just what I need. Luckily, it's not the disc drive, but this Ninja Gaiden II disc, and as you might know all too well, the years 2020-2021 are not the best years to pop to the shops for a second-hand copy of Xbox 360 exclusive hack and slash action-adventure title Ninja Gaiden II.

This game sits unplayable at this time. What am I missing?


Source // Moby Games


Fun Times


The big selling point, from what I gather from these screenshots and a few YouTube reviews, is the insane depth of the melee combat moveset for multiple weapons, many of which offer elaborate ways to delimb or decapitate your many opponents.

Ryu Hayabusa's weapon of choice will slice through an entire leg like scissors through wrapping paper if you manage to get that perfect gliding cut, rather than gum up the scissors and make a right mess of it. You know what I mean.

Limbs are so easy to separate from bodies, it seems, that this is all you'll be doing in every encounter you find yourself in. I don't know how prevalent the removal process actually is, but everyone's talking about it. It's no longer cool to just slice through a hitbox.


Source // Moby Games
Source // Moby Games
Source // Xbox


Over the course of the game, you'll be carving enemies of all sizes with all manner of upgradable weapons and fancy magical ninja attacks that I'm sure are rooted in historical ninja fact. Ninja Gaiden II is very much a game for players who want a slick slice 'em up with even more blood and gore.


Source // Xbox


Further Frustrations


But it is not without its flaws. This guy, I assume, is the big bad guy of the story. The story, from what I'm told, is even more ridiculous than that of the first game that nobody ever got to see, me especially. In Ninja Gaiden II, the cutscenes exist to get you from one nonsense location to another in a way that makes the most sense, even if that means more nonsense.

So it's not a game that you should play for the story, but was Ninja Gaiden ever about the story? Arguably not. It was a rock hard challenge for the dedicated to master, even if it meant putting up with aggravating camera angles and poor performance.

Good news is that Ninja Gaiden II retains the camera quirks that stop you from seeing what you desperately need to see, lest you get killed by the unknown that hides behind the corner. It also runs on an engine that shows its age in all the worst ways.

When a game demands precision in your timing but doesn't actually allow you a stable experience or even camera angle to even view the situation to respond with precise timing, you can imagine the frustrated shouts from the audience. It is a game that, once again, puts off those who aren't cut out for putting up with the crap to get to the good stuff - if, indeed, there is any good stuff.


Final Word


Ninja Gaiden II knows its target audience, and that audience doesn't include you. It just doesn't. To get the most out of this game is to wade through every bad design decision, ignore all the dodgy camera angles, grit your teeth over the deaths that just weren't your fault, and grind out a result.

It is a game that is better to watch than to play, one review said, but even that might be a challenge when you know that the story is not worth paying attention to. What do you play the game for then? The satisfaction of having beaten it? Having dealt with its problems long enough to learn to live with them, powering all the way through to the credits?

I'm sure for some players that'll be enough. Plenty of games have their issues but we battle through anyway, especially if we like a character, setting, story, or, of course, the gameplay.

Knowing what I know about Ninja Gaiden II, and in particular Ninja Gaiden/Black, I know enough to know I won't be battling through anything. I even said I wouldn't watch Ninja Gaiden, and that'll probably hold true for Ninja Gaiden II as well.

To check my Xbox 360 was still reading discs, I put it Ace Combat 6, notorious for its God-awful story. It's not a case of 'so bad it's good', it's a case of 'so bad it has to be seen to be believed'. For Ninja Gaiden II to potentially and probably not even reach that status with me is something special indeed.

I am highly unlikely to play this anytime soon, highly unlikely to even try to play it, and highly unlikely to seek out a run-through of it on YouTube, but I can't really say whether it is or isn't a must-play. It shouldn't be ruled out just because of some problems, a high difficulty, or a rubbish story, I know that much.

I just don't know what it'll take to convince me otherwise.


Fun Facts


There's an altered version Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2, for the PlayStation 3 and even PlayStation Vita that I will have to keep an eye out for if I ever hope of playing it. But I bet these versions are also shat upon by Ninja Master Tomonobu Itagaki...

Ninja Gaiden II, developed by Team Ninja, first released in 2008.
Version with an unreadable disc that can't be played: Xbox 360, 2008.