If you're thinking 'isn't it a little late to be playing a Massively Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game first released in 1999?', know that you're correct. It is a little late to be playing EverQuest so long after it's launch, but this game is still up and running and free to play for new players going back through the history of video games to see what the must-play titles are.
Because there is literally no other reason to play it.
Fun Times
Now that intro ever so slightly spoiled the direction in which this post is heading, but you've got to admire the fact that EverQuest still has legs. I don't know how those legs are being propped up, but I imagine it's with the financial aid of offering players the ability to skip from a pathetic little newbie to a level 85 newbie on day one. Maybe. I didn't look into it to check.
But as I say, this is still chugging along, and while many patches and updates and expansions have been bolted on to the point where I've no idea how 'original' it is any more, I'm still interested in seeing what EverQuest actually is.
I say that because pretty much all I've been... exposed to... in regards to this title are the many images splashing the title behind an elven woman's breasts. You know the ones.
Was EverQuest the first to go down this route? I have to doubt it, but she's everywhere EverQuest. I don't even know what significance she has to the game, let alone the plot. Anyway, a gigabyte of data or so later and I'm in.
Frustrations
Ok, ok, I understand that you need to advertise in order to keep the servers going twenty years later, but on top of the character creation screen? Not before it, or somewhere in the empty space, no. On top. Alright. We'll just close you and see what we can be in this fantasy realm.
I'm not sure what you're trying to tell me by having this guy be the default, EverQuest. Maybe we'll browse around for a bit...
There seems to be something for everyone, with classic fantasy tropes on view. Males and females are modelled to some level of detail. I'm not sure what level, and I don't know if they were this good twenty years ago, but nothing has leapt out at me yet. I'm probably just going to have to be a boring human.
Further Fun Times
Oh yeah. Now we're in business. My options are limited, but at this stage, you can pick a class, again pulled from the expected offerings - fighter types, spellcaster types, etc - and a particular deity to worship. There are stats, of course, making it feel a little like Dungeons & Dragons, so at least there's something I can grasp. Hopefully.
It's not a flashy button that screams 'Press me!', but 'Enter World' is what we need to do. Any guesses as to which clichéd starting point we're going to find ourselves in? Assuming I'm heading into a tutorial of some sort.
If you said 'escape from jail', award yourself some points. Arias here has our first quest: to join him in escaping prison. And by 'join him', I mean you're going to be doing all the work. Welcome to every RPG ever.
Further Frustrations
The quest window goes step by step through your current quest, so finding the jailor is a necessary step before killing him. Finding him is easy, he's the only thing in here that isn't Arias or I. Killing him is also easy, involving clicking on him and hitting 'Q'.
I'm sure there are more manual controls for combat because you can play EverQuest in first or third person, switchable at the scroll of a mouse wheel, but the tutorial says 'Q' so 'Q' it is. Seconds later, my jailor lay on the floor, motionless.
And then an advert popped up. If this is going to be a running theme, I'm going to get annoyed rather quickly. As it happens, that was the last one I saw, but the theme of 'windows covering everything' is a staple of MMOs, and that continued as I gave the key the Arias so he could take all the glory of sticking it in the lock.
Back in the day, nobody had stupid ultrawide monitors. Windows were going to cover everything, and you deal with it. Today, with aaaaalll this screen real estate, EverQuest still feels cluttered and covered in crap.
Quest complete, it was time to see the world outside these cavernous, extremely brightly lit prison walls.
Or not. More tutorials from the safety of a cave. Ok, well, let's crack on. I've not spoken of the interaction between characters yet. You can click on anyone in the world and hit the 'H' key to hail them, shouting their name in the main chat window to get their attention.
My quest log at this point was full of talk to this person about that thing, and finding them all can be done with Ctrl+F (what else, eh?), bringing up a list of available people, and allowing you to set a waypoint and glowing pathfinder to get you there.
One by one I ticked off my to-do list, learning about putting armour on (click this, click that), picking up items (click this, click that), giving them to other characters (click this, click that). There's a map that works in real-time so you can run around with it on screen - no doubt covering up something else - and never have to worry too much about where you're going.
And then I learnt some spells, and EverQuest started to crack.
When you speak to people, you can either click on links within their speech to talk about that particular thing, or you can type a response using those words in order to sound a little more human and a little less demanding, and that simple chat window edition was a nice feature. I like intelligent NPCs, capable of reacting to what I say with the best canned response they know...
Anyway, after that, I was given a spell to put into my spellbook, and then onto my spell bar. But I couldn't find a spell bar. At all. I was clicking on any bar-like window I could see and nothing appeared to work.
I hit the help window and skim read nothing useful. This isn't good. This is a tutorial section. You need to be very clear in a tutorial section. I'll have to come back to it. What else can I do in my quest log?
Ah! Learn about Hotbars, yeas, that might help. Ok. Hello, Basher. What words of wisdom do you have for me today? I need some help with a spell bar.
The hell is this? Inspect, preview... a reward... what the fuuu? No, no! TELL ME ABOUT HOTBARS GODDAMN IT!
GET ME OUT OF HERE! ESCAPE! RIGHT CLICK! /quit! Oh good.
Final Words
So there we go. I made it some way into the tutorial before quitting because there was too much going on, and something didn't go as obviously as the developers thought it would. Clearly, I'm stupid. Clearly, they haven't accounted for the stupidity levels of their player base.
EverQuest will, therefore, be watched a little bit, by players who played it in its heyday, for hours and hours, day after day, like the perpetual time sink it is.
MMOs are not my cup of tea. Wading through windows and chat logs and bars full of items and spells and quick links and lord knows what else is work, not play. If I had a better head for remembering and comparing games, I'd know that there are probably games that have all this that I like, perhaps even enjoy, but they're not coming to me right now. All I see are boxes everywhere, getting in the way of the barely animated gameplay.
I can't judge EverQuest on my time with it. I'll see it in motion by competent, higher level players, but even with an entry price of free, I just can't recommend playing a twenty-year-old MMO for fun.
One video I watched said as much too, saying that to play EverQuest now is to play it for the nostalgia. I don't have that. When it was out, the computer in my house was woefully incapable and was used for homework. I was happy with the consoles. These fantasy worlds existed in more condensed forms, or in books or on tabletops.
The whole genre of the MMORPG is alien to me, despite its origins of traditional pencil and paper RPGs being so familiar. You'd think I could just switch mindsets and dive in, but I just can't. The roadblocks are too much, and the reward too little.
Twenty years ago, EverQuest was the most demanding, cutting edge thing out there. Always online, fully 3D, worlds catering to hundreds and hundreds of players, together, questing to their heart's content, taking whatever path they wanted to take through this world.
Today, we've all forgotten how important it was as a milestone, and have moved onto pastures new.
Fun Facts
The inspiration for EverQuest came from all the text-based multi-user dungeons of the past, with names I don't recognise and titles that didn't make the 1001 list. I know I've played a MUD for this list somewhere. What the hell was it? Oh. MUD.
EverQuest, developed by Verant Interactive, 989 Studios, first released in 1999.
Version played: PC, 2012
Version watched: PC, 2012 (How To Murder Time, Game Informer)