There are times when I turn to look at the upcoming games on this 1001 list where I just hang my head and groan a little, for one reason or another. Perhaps they're tricky to set up on new hardware, maybe they've issues with being emulated, perhaps I've had a bad time with them in the past and I just don't want to get around to them right now. Animal Crossing is one such game.
It's not because it's difficult to run - it emulates fine. It's not because I've had a bad experience with it - I've never played it before. It's all down to the fact that I cannot picture myself sitting down to enjoy a game whose genre is described as 'social simulation', and whose main characters are cartoon animals.
I'll play weird and wacky games, don't get me wrong, and I'll definitely play Animal Crossing, but let's just be clear that I'm going into this game groaning and hoping to get it over with quickly...
Fun Times
Here we are, at a significant moment of our life, setting out into the world alone with no plans for what to do. The thrill of... home ownership... calls to us, and there's no turning back.
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| Oh. Sheeee-iiiiit. |
Frustrations
Animal Crossing starts with a fair bit of bookkeeping. What's your name, where are you heading, what's the time and date because that'll matter later more than you think, kind of stuff. It's one thing to sit through it, but it's another to be insulted at every opportunity by a cat who clearly wants to be a dog. You're judging me over my name? A cat called Rover, judging me? Cheeky bastard.
I don't know, do I have money? I assume I've got something. I haven't got a plan, that much is clear. This train might as well be a rollercoaster because I'm just strapped in and going along with it all right now.
Finally off the train, we are welcomed into town by Tom Nook, who is very eager to offload a building into our possession. They're not much, but over time, we'll be able to pimp them out with all kinds of rubbish and clutter. Maybe I'll leave mine looking like a prison cell.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be this easy to buy a house. We're a little short on Bells, but a deposit will be alright, yeah? That's what happens with big purchases. Spread the cost, pay it over time. Don't worry, it'll be fine.
I didn't sign up for thi--
Looks like we've secured a job then. I don't think I had a choice. The dog at the start of the game must have lied or something.
Our first task is to spruce up the shop by planting stuff outside. Animal Crossing is all about making the place into your own friendly little neighbourhood, and a splash of colour from some flowers will supposedly go a long way towards attracting customers into Nook's Cranny. More customers buying more stock means a shorter sentence for me and my mortgage repayments, so I plant the shit out of these plants by just dumping them in front of the pond.
I'm a slave, aren't I?
After sampling working life, Tom shoves me out of the shop and tells me to introduce myself to the locals. Making friends is the aim of the game, though I'm sure solving their problems and doing their work for them will soon replace that. The whole map is open to us, so let's get exploring.
And that's where I gave up the will to live.
Final Word
Animal Crossing is not for me. I don't care about anybody here. I don't want to start a new life. I don't want to make friends. I don't want to enjoy how the game's day/night cycle, and the routines of all the inhabitants of the town, are tied to the GameCube clock, so ten at night for you is ten at night for your game too. I don't want to have a tiny little animalised life to micromanage because I've already got a life to micromanage, and it's a chore to do that half the time too.
Could you have a great time with Animal Crossing? Sure, definitely. Maybe you like the writing, or perhaps you like the simple little chores, or perhaps you like working towards something. It doesn't look terrible, and it's a bit of a technological show-off, with all its timekeeping, but to get the most out of it, you've got to put a lot into it.
I can't do that. I don't even think I've got the time to watch someone else put the time into it. Can you speedrun Animal Crossing? What is the end game? I might look into that for fun, rather than for any sort of interest.
As a series, Animal Crossing is ridiculously popular, but so are a lot of things that I'm also not interested in. For those who like these kinds of games, enjoy them. For those of us who don't, let's just leave it to those who do, and focus on what we like instead.
Fun Facts
Translators did so much work converting the Japanese original to the US market that Nintendo Japan was impressed enough to bring their efforts back over to Japan as an alternative version of the game.
Animal Crossing, developed by Nintendo EAD, first released in 2001.
Version played: Nintendo GameCube, 2004, via emulation.