I don't like Super Smash Bros. - I thought I'd get that in early just so you know where I stand. Fighting games I can get into and get behind, but this kind of brawler... it has never worked for me. I simply can't get behind it in any way.
So, when the 1001 list says you must play Super Smash Bros. Melee, what do you do? You play Super Smash Bros. Melee and see if you can justify your stance on the series, else revise your position on the matter. Let's dive right in before we get kicked right back out.
Fun Times
Melee is the second in the Smash series, coming out on the GameCube as a bigger and better sequel in all aspects. So I read. If the N64's Super Smash Bros. was the proof of concept, Melee is the perfected blueprint that future titles would refer back to.
The hype video that introduces the game shows off the roster, more than double that of the original game (though many characters are effectively palette swaps), including the obvious Mario, Link, and Samus, to the more obscure Ness and the Ice Climbers. There's probably something for everyone, and there is a game mode for everyone, too.
But I'm not playing with people. I'm emulating by my lonesome, and that means heading into the Classic mode to get a taste of Melee's unique combat.
Frustrations
Which is where the game starts to lose me. That's a problem, a fighting game losing me with its fighting, so let's see what's going on. The screenshots won't show it, because it's damn near impossible to make sense of the chaos that is going on in a single frame, but we'll try and make sense of it somehow.
Movement around the themed stages is as you'd expect. The analogue stick moves you left and right, and two jump buttons will launch you around the level. It looks and feels a bit like a platformer in places, so any skills you might have learned from Street Fighter or Tekken may not be applicable - and that's probably where my fault with Melee lies.
There are only two buttons dedicated to attacks (and a throw, I suppose), one for light attacks and one for heavy, all dependent on which character you are and how you're attacking. I assume because even with only two buttons to worry about, I couldn't tell which was which and how they worked. I was largely button mashing, folks.
Barely a minute into the fight and the stage started to descend, turning the game into a proper platformer, where staying on screen is essential. The Ice Climbers failed in their own stage, and I got an unexpected and probably undeserved victory.
It was in the second stage, a tag match, where Melee descended into pure chaos. I had zero ideas of what was going on at any point. Even in these screenshots, I could not tell you what was going on, save for Donkey Kong landing a punch on Link there.
The numbers represent the amount of damage taken, but 100% doesn't mean you're knocked out. Being hurled off the screen does, though, which means I should really be thinking of this game as a sumo match, and not a fight. I wonder if a change in mindset would change how I view this series? Shame I thought of that after putting the game down...
After some things happened, which involved fireballs at one point, I was declared the victor. Again, a victory I don't think is deserved, because I still don't understand what is going on, and what I'm doing at any given point.
A bonus stage broke up the fights to test my skills.
Amazing. So, on we go.
Scattered around the stages, somewhere, sometimes, are power-ups themed to various Nintendo IP, from Donkey Kong hammers to... uhh... I don't even know. There might have been a Koopa shell of some sort. I picked up a pill once. Dr. Mario? Don't know what it did.
There are also stage hazards which can scupper your chances of a win, but they seem to be quite telegraphed. I don't recall ever being caught out by one, but that's not a surprise when I don't remember much of what I did in any fight. I hit Ness with a boulder once. That was a highlight. But still, all these fights in, and I'm just mashing buttons, and nothing exciting is happening.
What is the appeal of this series? What am I missing?
Team Kirby gave me a chance to opt-out and be done with this game, but I hit continue, lost some of my score, and got back in the action with three new lives.
Can anyone tell me what the hell is going on in any one of these screenshots?
That last one is me kicking a Kirby in the face, I know that much. The rest? Anyone's guess. How does anyone manage to follow a fight in Melee or any other game in the series? It's all over the place. With four fighters to track, the camera tries to do its thing and keep everyone in view, but against some of these backgrounds, I can't always tell where I am or who I'm hitting.
After another bonus round completed in five seconds (surely I missed something with that), we were up against the big bad guy himself. Or one of them, seeing as there's a stage after Metal Bowser here.
Well, that went well. Now is my chance to opt-out, and I do.
Final Word
What have I learned about Melee then? For starters, button mashing doesn't work. Playing it like a traditional fighting game doesn't work, either. Trying to follow the action is hard. Investing in the characters hasn't happened - Mario is just a vehicle for my punches and kicks. It reads your GameCube save data to unlock 3D renderings of characters. I got Pikmin's Captain Olimar before I even made it into Melee's menus.
What is the appeal of these games? Is it just throwing Nintendo characters against each other? Having not grown up with any of these characters, really, I don't care about any of them, so I don't see what the interest is in finding out whether Princess Peach could kick Zelda's arse or not.
Like MMORPGs, I don't quite grasp how people can put tens of hours into this grind. Of course, there are people out there who don't quite understand how I can put tens of hours into driving around Forza Horizon 4 - each to their own, right?
Melee, and by extension the Super Smash Bros. series, is a mystery to me, but if it's your thing then by God go do your thing. Enjoy it, you strange gamer, you.
Fun Facts
All kinds of historical Nintendo titles were considered to pull characters from, including GoldenEye 007, but Pierce Brosnan's likeness and the James Bond character rights prevented this particular inclusion.
Super Smash Bros. Melee, developed by HAL Laboratory, first released in 2001.
Version played: GameCube, 2001, via emulation.