Gamifying tasks in the workplace can take your mind off the toil, but that wasn't really the aim of the Harvest Moon series. In a land of concrete and mountains, a lot of Japanese kids didn't have the opportunity of experiencing the wonders of the outdoors, with farm life being particularly interesting. Apparently.
In Harvest Moon: Friends of Mineral Town, players can manage their own farm, ploughing the fields and planting crops, feeding and milking cows, and ultimately turning hard work into cash. It's said to be the height of the series, introducing new mechanics and even getting a Nintendo Switch remake recently.
But is it yet another Game Boy Advance game worth spending hours and hours in?
Frustrations
These people are too happy. Actually, no, looking closer it seems I took this screenshot as many of them were frowning, which is a great expression to make when playing Harvest Moon. It exercises your facial muscles, frowning...
I am not a fan of farming simulators. I am not a fan of games that revolve around grinding. I am not a fan of gamifying work unless I'm actually gaming my own work - not playing a game about work. I do not see the appeal in playing a game like Harvest Moon, but here I am, having to see what it's got in store for us.
Through the warmth of a yellow filter covering the entire screen, we're introduced to For Sale Farm. I named it that. I hope it sells.
The previous owner has died, and we're taken back to the time we first met him, after getting lost as a child.
Sure, you could make it creepy if you want, but I had the permission of my nameless, faceless parents to spend a few days on the farm, and it clearly made an impression on me, and the Old Man.
Please tell me this is an actual option in the game. Please, please, please.
Balls. We're a farmer now. Up before 6am, scoffing an entire loaf of bread, ready for a long, hard days work. Oh, joy. Let's learn how to farm, then.
Various tools allow you to cut, crack and smash different obstacles littering your field. If you've not got the tools, and the obstacles are small enough, you can pollute the river by tossing them into the water instead. I would have thought we could reuse the wood for the fire or something, but I guess Harvest Moon has other plans in store for us there.
Big things require better equipment, which means a visit to the blacksmith, which probably means selling some crops to pay for better equipment. It's just like life, this.
Shoving your wares into a shipping box before 5pm will see Zack take them off your hands. I don't know if it's only him that buys them, or if he just pays us for the privilege of giving him something to do, but whatever. We'll get money for things we put in this box. Huzzah.
I like the sound of that, actually... Once everyone has stopped telling me how to farm, I'm left to my own devices. Where to begin?
Monkey, I'm bored. I'm going for a walk. Monkey? Where are you, you silly dog? Whatever. Eat the weeds or something, I'm off.
Yes, thanks, I could have guessed that myself. Can I get on it and leave? No? Ugh.
Final Word
I can't do this. This isn't fun. This is a series of chores that culminate in you buttering up someone to marry for... reasons... is that the end goal of Harvest Moon, or just another thing to do to distract you from the fact that you are grinding a farm?
Clear the fields, plough them, plant the seeds, water them, sleep, water them, sleep, water them, sleep, pick them, sell them, get the fields ready for the next crop.
Ah, nuts. I forgot to feed the chickens. Can I hire farmers? Can I outsource my workload? Does my dog do anything other than run around and hide?
I read that planting crops in the wrong season - oh, yeah, there's an entire in-game year that goes by over time - will result in crap crops, and that there are random events like storms and stuff, but otherwise, this appears to be a game of farming, and I'm not interested in farming games.
Actually, no, I am interested in farming games, but only in the form of Caverna, the board game. It allows me to ignore farming and dig in caves instead.
I am not the target audience for this game. We all knew that going in, and I can't see myself ever taking it seriously. It's not grabbing my attention. It's not giving me a reason to succeed. It's just there in case I've got nothing to do.
Well, I do have things to do, Harvest Moon. Congratulations on being a successful series of games, but you're not for me.
Fun Facts
There is a female version, More Friends of Mineral Town, which gives you the option of marrying one of eight blokes instead.
Harvest Moon: Friends of Mineral Town, developed Marvelous Interactive, first released in 2003.
Version played: Game Boy Advance, 2004, via emulation.