Tycoon games have never given me the greatest of gaming experiences. The promise of being able to create the theme park or transport network of your dreams (strange dreams) is admirable, but the accounting and business management side of the simulation is a chore.
Sure, there are actual sandbox modes in many of these games, but that's not why they were made. These games are made to challenge your skills in balancing the books and giving the customer a good time. Preferably while emptying their wallets in the process.
Here, then, is the next one to try: RollerCoaster Tycoon 3. I think you can guess where the focus of the game is to be found. And yes, I'm aware there is only a hint of a rollercoaster in that image.
Can we turn a barren park into an amusement park? Can we bankroll ridiculous rollercoaster designs off the back of aggressive pricing policies? Shall we indeed scream if we want to go faster?
Fun Times
RollerCoaster Tycoon 3 is hard to come by these days, but I had picked it up a few years before its licensing issues took it off the digital shelves, and it plays nicely with my system, allowing me to fire up all number of parks and expansions and modes to play around with.
As I said, though, the campaign mode is where we ought to be heading to prove ourselves. Anything else is just faffing about.
The first park in sight is Vanilla Hills, a woody little hideaway that wants 400 guests inside at any time, and to be worth a lot more money than it is now. Two clear goals that we can work our way towards in whatever manner we - and the budget - see fit.
My eye is immediately drawn to the first problem this park faces. A ride with only two passengers.
People are queuing for it, however, so it must be popular. Each ride has loads of control over how it runs, including wait times and capacity and so on, so we immediately make sure we're not running this thingymajig until it makes sense to do so.
One new feature for RollerCoaster Tycoon 3 is that thanks to the freedom given to the camera to swing around your park at whatever angles and distances you want, you can also lock it to a ride and see what your park looks like from the view of the peeps that visit it. They are actually called peeps, that's not me failing to be hip.
Given that such a simple thrill as that ride is popular, I make plans to plop a tamer version nearby. Something for the kids, perhaps. Different types of visitors will enjoy various rides, and this is also tied to a day/night cycle. When the sun is out, you're going to want something for families to enjoy, and a chair swing should fit the bill.
After plonking it down and routing the entrance and exit paths, it's ready to go. Or it will be, after a test ride to check it's safe. I don't need to hire any mechanics for this one, so let's open it up and watch the peeps go mad.
Punters aren't going to be amused if they've not got food and drink nearby, so plop down some comically built huts for them too. Before long, Vanilla Hills will start to look a little more welcoming.
With a vast expanse of emptiness at the back and a reminder that this game isn't called ChairSwing Tycoon, it's time to get some more rollercoasters built. Thinking of the kids, I opt for a Junior Caterpillar. You can place prebuilt designs quickly, but sadly, the only design available was locked. I'd have to build my own.
Frustrations
This is where RollerCoaster Tycoon 3 took a turn for the worse - for me, at least. The idea of designing your very own rollercoaster is appealing to many, I'm sure, and while I would have prefered a hands-off approach to this caterpillar ride, we are here to play video games, and explore what they offer, so custom-built coasters here we come.
I immediately regret not finishing the tutorial. The first few things were quite obvious, and icons and tooltips said what needed to be said. I'm sure I can work out the rest, I thought, and into Vanilla Hills I went.
Well, yeah. This track designer probably does make sense - after you've gone through its tutorial, which I hadn't.
Instead of making a wee lil caterpillar track, I was already high in the sky over the lines to the big boy coaster. This was not what I had imagined at all. Abort! Abort! Let's ignore the kiddie coaster for the moment and just find a pre-built.
The Facelift?! Now that's a name I can get behind. Just need to find some space for it.
Correction: Need to find some cash for it. How are our finances? What do we need to do to be able to afford this? Clearly, it will solve our problems and bring all the peeps to the park, so let's find a way to put it in here.
Oooh, that's a lot of red. I guess I need more food? Can I adjust prices somewhere? It's free to enter the entire park? Well, for the minute, ok. I don't know where to begin with all this.
So I didn't begin at all.
Final Word
I'm not a rollercoaster guy. I'm not a theme park guy. I'm not an amusement kinda guy. Nothing about RollerCoaster Tycoon 3 appeals to me apart from the fact that you can create what you want.
However, as you may know, I have a crippling inability to push past the expectations I have set out in my brain before I begin, that causes great frustration when the screen doesn't match the mental image.
Rollercoasters, train lines, cities... it doesn't matter what I'm building - or even how much cash or time or whatever I have with which to create them - I always hit a wall really early on that forces me to give up on the spot.
This is my problem. This is all me. RollerCoaster Tycoon 3 is probably excellent for those who really dig management sims and building things. The new camera, the latest tools, and the expansions that allow you to develop waterparks and zoos... these are all excellent appealing features for fans.
But I'm not a fan. I'm not a fan, and I have mental stumbling blocks. But if I were to overcome those issues, I'd still not be a fan of amusement park construction, opting for city building and the like first.
I don't know what more could be said. It plays well? It looks alright? There's a lot of content? I don't know. It's not for me.
Fun Facts
There's a feature that allows you to create firework displays set to music. In case you get bored of designing rollercoasters, I guess.
RollerCoaster Tycoon 3, developed by Frontier Developments, first released in 2004.
Version played: RollerCoaster Tycoon 3 Platinum, PC, 2006