I have to hand it to this rig. It's held up quite well over the years that I've had it. It was somewhere in the middle ground of performance when I bought it but continues to chug away at whatever I throw at it. Emulation can be a bit performance-intensive, but that's the nature of trying to mimic a PlayStation 2 with a PowerPC, or whatever it is I have under the bonnet.
Once again, it has helped me plough through another 50 games for The 601/1001 Milestone Awards, a largely pointless ceremony, but it's nice to remember how far we've come from time to time, isn't it?
Everything from Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga to Ninja Gaiden is eligible to be remembered just a little bit more than usual, but first we have to get some of the games that barely register out of the way.
The Indifferent 5 are games that I can picture, and that's about it. This time around they are:
Bejeweled 2, PopCap Games
Metal Arms: Glitch in the System, Swinging Ape Studios
Mojib Ribbon, NanaOn-Sha, Ltd.,
R-Type Final, Irem
City of Heroes, Cryptic Studios, Paragon Studios
Well done, good job, stick around, or be on your merry way. Whatever, you know?
While they can do what they want, this next game should do only one thing: move along, out of 1001 list, because it just doesn't belong. It is, of course, the winner (loser?) of the What Was That 1 Even Put On The List For? award, and it's heading into familiar territory once more.
What Was Donkey Kong Jungle Beat Even Put On The List For?
Quick, we need to justify why readers should track down a comedy bongo drum controller! How many games used it? What? Two?! Ugh, you've got to be kidding me.
Yes, as well made as it may have been, bongos don't belong on a list twice, especially when you could instead go back to the early(ish) days of the Internet to find another game that grabbed all kinds of attention. You ask You Forgot What?! and the Interest responds Alien Hominid.
Side-scrolling Flash shooter Alien Hominid was the stand-out game on Newgrounds for a while, eventually seeing a release outside of the Internet, but apparently, that's not a good enough reason to be included in the 1001 list. I guess there weren't enough bongos in it.
What games do have enough bongos in them, and by 'bongos' I mean 'gameplay'? Well, I can find at least ten of them in this lot, which is handy, because there needs to be ten games in The Top 10. Quite a few contenders were teenage favourites, so the nostalgia goggles are working hard on this list, but I've at least tried to venture out of my comfort zone if only a little. What caught my eye?
10: Zoo Keeper, Success
An addicting little match three game that actually looks like a game, rather than a waste of time. Cute animals work better than gems, what can I say?
9: Def Jam: Fight for NY, AKI Corporation, EA Canada
Thug life lessons galore in this gritty rapper-scrapper. Still need to get the hang of the combat. So, the game, then. Still need to get the hang of the game.
8: Lumines, Q Entertainment
Still prefer the music found in the sequels, but the gameplay itself is more addicting than cubed cartoon animals, so it's higher on the list.
7: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, BioWare
I'm thinking this, and other stellar Star Wars titles, could be exactly what I need to remind myself that, a long time ago, Star Wars was actually worth something.
6: Halo 2, Bungie
Big, dumb, FPS game, innit? Sometimes that's all you want.
5: Far Cry, Crytek
Made me fight for every success, but kept me engaged to do so.
4: Half-Life 2, Valve
I still haven't completed it, but I still know an incredible game when I play one.
3: Counter-Strike: Source, Valve, Turtle Rock Studios
I still can't compete at a competent level, but I still know an incredible game when I play one.
2: Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, Konami Computer Entertainment Japan
Grrrr, does so much right and so much wrong, yet still somehow manages to be this high on the list. What a thrill.
And that leaves only one more spot to fill, and it's twice in a row for a juggernaut of gaming. The number 1 is Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. The more I see it, the more I want to go back and play it. And not even successfully - I'd be happy just to mess around in its sandbox all over again.
But is it good enough to make The Topper Than That Top 10? What do you think? "Where does it rank?" is the real question. Scroll on, friends, scroll on.
10: Advance Wars, Intelligent Systems
Clinging on for dear life is the game I desperately want to see a tabletop version of, just so I can play it more often, with people.
9: Pokémon Ruby/Sapphire, Game Freak
I don't know what my perfect Pokégame looks like, but until I do, this is a great placeholder.
8: Ratchet & Clank, Insomniac Games
Was I right in hearing rumours of a PlayStation 5 reboot? I hope so, but I hope not. There's something to be said about the time and place, as well as the games themselves. That's probably the reason the boys are still on this list.
7: Counter-Strike: Source, Valve, Turtle Rock Studios
I could play dedust2 or whatever it is for hours and not get bored. Imagine then having however many other maps to get lost in for weeks on end. If only I were good at it all...
6: Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, Konami Computer Entertainment Japan
Bonkers but breathtaking. So much could be said, so much has been said, and so much will probably continue to get said about this flawed masterpiece.
5: Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, Rockstar North
It must mean only one thing - I've finally come around to San Andreas being the better game.
4: Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, Rockstar North
Weeeeellll, for the time being, yes. It's getting harder to split the two, though.
3: The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, Nintendo EAD
Stop looking so good.
2: Front Mission 3, Square
Stop having mechs.
1: Metal Gear Solid, Konami Computer Entertainment Japan
Stop having such good looking mechs.
And that's it for another wee trip down memory lane. The end of the list gets closer and closer, but it is still four hundred games away. That's a lot. I know some of them. Don't know just as many. What's going to start off the next batch of 50 titles before the next Milestone Awards? Another Mario game? How many of them are there?