It's safe to say that I wasn't a fan of The Sims. I got bored of it very quickly, and while I could see the point in its existence, I couldn't see the point in me playing it for any length of time. It wasn't my thing.
So let's see if The Sims 2 can change my mind.
Fun Times
I believe I found my copy of The Sims 2 complete, in the box, in the trash. If I didn't, it was a charity shop find. The Sims can be found everywhere for dirt cheap, is the point, and I finally got around to installing it from all four of its CDs and was pleasantly surprised to learn that it gives me something to do while falling asleep watching the progress bar.
A memory game and a Sims-centric quiz aren't going to knock anyone's socks off, but it was a good first impression. I was - dare I say it - on board for The Sims 2.
Frustrations
And after that, I couldn't get it to run, and to be honest, didn't want to try to get it to run beyond a hopeful stab at running it in a compatibility mode or two. It wasn't having it, I wasn't having it, onto Plan B we go.
Because you can find The Sims everywhere, I resorted to the PlayStation 2 port, which does run on this PC. Go figure. It opens with a CG intro showing all the wacky and zany situations your varied cast of characters can find themselves in.
Arguing. Playing games against a chicken. Crashlanding alien spacecraft. Boy, what excitement.
I kid, but only a little. I still doubt I'll be playing this for more than twenty minutes. Let's insert ourselves into this thing, then.
What the hell kind of devil spawn are you? We'll be rewriting your stats, let alone tweaking them.
What on Earth is this character creation suite? What's with all this posing? Even the silhouettes are doing it. I signed up to a life simulator, not a fashion show. This mess needs sorting, pronto.
In amongst the clothing and whatnot is an aspiration menu. Finally, we're getting somewhere. What does my digital self want? Probably wealth. It's not the answer to life, but it does make it easier, doesn't it?
What about our personality?
You know what? I'm getting an idea.
Yeas. Everybody welcome to the neighbourhood Frank Downanout.
Further Fun Times
It took a long time, but as soon as I saw this grumpy bum hanging out on the sidewalk, I knew I was far more into The Sims 2 than I was The Sims. It's not a game about being yourself. It's a game about being a ridiculous parody character. What does a day in the life of a Downanout look like?
It's just gone 7am, and already we've got a problem. Apparently, The Sims 2 thinks Frank needs to shower. We'll see about that.
'Earn'? Beg, borrow and steal, more like. Whose house is this? Ours?
I told you money makes things easier. We don't have any, though. There's nobody home, so we turn the TV on and while away the morning. Everything is interacted with by walking up to it and hitting the X-button, with a contextual menu allowing for more choice in your action. Not that this TV starts with many options beyond 'Turn On'.
We're still being told to grab a shower, but it's far too early for that. A power nap will set us up for the challenges ahead more than a shower will, and when we've finished that, we'll see if anyone has lost any spare change down the sofa.
A sandwich? Well, that's breakfast sorted. I don't even have to do anything. Frank is utterly autonomous on his quest to devour food found in the couch. I wonder what personality trait effects that?
Sadly, I get bored and head to the bathroom for a shower.
While in the shower, I'm informed about needs and mood. Bleh. Micromanagement of needs and mood? I do enough of that in life itself, and not very well, I suppose. I don't want to have to keep tabs on it in a relaxing past time.
I want to go on the trampoline? We have a trampoline?
After practically reaching orbit on a backyard trampoline, we're prompted to stop farting about and go and meet someone. You're telling me, game. Pressing Triangle to stop doing whatever it is you're doing finally allows me to come to a stop, and I run around the house to meet the neighbours. Or so I thought.
Instead, I get to meet my housemates. I strike up a conversation with one of them - can't remember his name now - and get straight into the sock puppet routine. It felt like something Frank would do in this wacky, zany world of The Sims.
He mentions something about either rubbish or money, not sure which, and I get bored once more, running back into the house to show off my vacuum balancing skills to Felicity. I think it was a Felicity, anyway.
Yeah, vacuum balancing, because wacky, zany, yada yada. As the conversation develops, more talking points and approaches to ice-breaking appear in the chat menu. Clearly, this is my love interest, so I grab the sketchpad and channel my inner Jack Dawson.
Insulted, I slap her with a fish (wacky, zany, hahaha) and go off in a huff. I'm moving out.
I can't? Well, that's that then. Nearly made it to 3pm. Was that better than last time around?
Final Word
I'm still not the target audience for The Sims 2, but, damnit, I was more invested with this one than the first game. All because I embraced the stupid nature of the game and ran with it.
I still got rather bored, and still can't quite understand why you'd want to spend so long playing it, but I could finally start to see just a little bit of the appeal, especially when it comes to all those silly stories.
If it can be put on a controller, you know the gameplay is going to be simple enough to get to grips with, and it is. Everything seems obvious, though there are a good few icons you might need to read up on. At the end of the day, you've got meters for this and bars for that, and your Sim wants them full (or empty, I guess). Just do the things that help change those meters for the better.
The fact that the things you do to change those stats are a little larger than life is probably the appeal of the series. You don't have to open up a conversation with small talk. You open it with a vacuum balancing act. That's maybe a tad too wacky, but the tone is definitely set: this isn't a chore, it's a game. Have fun.
Slowly, very slowly, I'm having more fun with The Sims. I am still very unlikely to play it again until the next version appears on the 1001 list, but at least I'm less opposed to firing it up in the first place.
You'll know early on whether The Sims 2 is for you. If it's not, no big deal. If it is, enjoy it. Find yourself a ridiculous tale to tell when the inevitable 'weird things you used to do in games' question pops up.
Fun Facts
The game features music by Paramore, among others, singing 'translated' Simlish versions of their own songs.
The Sims 2, developed by Maxis Redwood Shores, first released in 2004.
Version played: Installation Mini-game, PC, 2004.
PlayStation 2, 2005, via emulation.