Oh boy, do I regret theming these awards around the numbers and 'something to do with gaming, or computers', even vaguely. Ah well, not to worry. The title may be meaningless, but the physically non-existent awards sure aren't... welcome one and all, provided you can connect through the right ports, to The 651/1001 Milestone Awards.
Fifty games. 16 prizes, six of which you don't really want. You're not here for the waffle. You're not even here for the content. You're here accidentally, but while I have your attention, here are some of the highlights of the latest batch of video games from long, long ago, containing whatever appeared on the 1001 list between Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door and Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories.
Who will win what? What games have cemented their place inside my memory, for the time being at least?
Well, I can tell you that they won't be this lot. The Indifferent 5 are games that you might like, though. They might also be games you might not like. They are just games.
Daigasso! Band Brothers, Nintendo R&2, Nintendo SPD
Torus Trooper, ABA Games
Freedom Forces vs the 3rd Reich, Irrational Games
Yoshi Touch & Go, Nintendo EAD Group No. 4
Golden Tee Live, Incredible Technologies
Thanks for playing, I guess.
Lists like these generate a lot of discussions. Discussion leads to disagreements, and disagreements lead to wondering What Was That 1 Even Put On The List For? There can only be one this time around. I'm even thinking about renaming the award in its honour. Say it along with me now...
What Was Pikmin 2 Even Put On The List For?
More to the point, why do Nintendo games keep ending up here? Go away. Let the little guys have a chance to shine.
When one is removed, one must be added, and there is a glaring omission from the 1001 list that will fill that hole. Indeed, you might have been caught shouting You Forgot What?! upon learning that Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines doesn't feature.
Now, I must stress that I haven't actually played Bloodlines, but I do own it. Not yet installed it, either, but I do own it. Apparently, we must all own, install, and play Bloodlines, because reasons. One day, I'll find out what those reasons are.
So, those are the 6 duff prizes out of the way. Here are the 10 that matter, or the one that matters are nine runners up, at least. These are The Top 10, any one of which I could fire up right now and fill the rest of my afternoon.
Here they are in a very particular order, worst to best.
10: F.E.A.R., Monolith Productions
For the moments when it isn't a generic shooter, but a psychological horror shooter.
9: The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap, Capcom, Flagship
Yeah, it's a little on the childish side, especially compared to F.E.A.R., but I like it.
8: Battlefield 2, Digital Illusions CE
The one that got away? I want a new Battlefield. One that cares about what it means to be Battlefield.
7: Call of Duty 2, Infinity Ward
Despite being more of a Battlefield fan, CoD2 was action-packed from start to finish. All four hours of it. Short but sweet, I suppose.
6: Spider-Man 2, Treyarch
All these sequels... I bet Pikmin 2 is rather angry. Hope so. Not the biggest fan of Spidey, but a game this good might just sway me.
5: Ridge Racer, Namco
Got me to dust off the PSP and take it for a spin - and a powerslide. Simple racing in a great package.
4: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic II, Obsidian Entertainment
I'll admit, this one is high on the list for potential, having not gotten around to it since playing, but this is my list, and I'll do what I want.
3: Fahrenheit, Quantic Dream
It's bonkers. In fact, even though it's number 3, it might be the next game I play.
2: God of War, SCE Santa Monica Studio
Hack and slash and hack and slash and grunt and hack and roar and slash and tits.
What could possibly be better than that? What is the number 1 rated game of this recent crop of contenders? The answer might surprise you because it's Warhammer 40k: Dawn of War. I played it all the way through and was disappointed that I didn't have the expansions that I thought I had. That's gotta say something.
But has it said enough of a something to poke its head into The Topper Than That Top 10, and go up against the remaining 350 games on the 1001 list? Not to spoil it, but yes. Yes, it did.
10: Warhammer 40k: Dawn of War, Relic Entertainment
It just made it, mind you. Clinging on in there. I don't think it'll last long, but you never know.
9: Pokémon Ruby/Sapphire, Game Freak
Pocket Monsters are still cool.
8: Ratchet & Clank, Insomniac Games
Lombax's are still cool.
7: Counter-Strike: Source, Valve, Turtle Rock Studios
Watching eSports is still cool.
6: Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, Konami Computer Entertainment Japan
Eating snakes is still cool.
5: Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, Rockstar North
The 80s are still cool.
4: Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, Rockstar North
The 90s are still cool.
3: The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, Nintendo EAD
Pixel art is still cool.
Not much change. That's a bit of a surprise. Maybe we're all waiting for the future. The PS2, GameCube and Xbox are awaiting their successors by this point in time. So am I, to be honest. It's been great going back through this era of gaming, but I am looking forward to putting the PS3 to use after all these years, HD Collections aside.
That wraps this post up. The next chunk of 50 games begins with GT Legends. Can't say I'm familiar with it. You'd have thought I'd look into all the games on the 1001 list at some point in the past five years, but no, sometimes I just don't get around to it.
Not much else to do in lockdown, though. Right, what do I need to install?