The 1001/1001 Milestone Awards

That's it. It's done*. I've played** all*** 1001 games featured in the first edition of the 1001 Video Games book.

Why are there so many asterisks there?

Welcome, one and all, to the final rather pointless but equally monumental The 1001/1001 Milestone Awards, the finish line of this trip through video gaming history, stretching all the way back to The Oregon Trail and Pong.

It has been many a year since I first put keyboard to blog post window and I've discovered an awful lot of games that I just didn't bat an eyelid towards when they first entered my view - if they even did at all, of course.

I've got some ideas for what will happen next, but for now, this post is all about the final batch of 50 video games vying for our attention, starting with UFC 2009: Undisputed and taking us through to Alien Zombie Death, all competing for the top spots of a rather biased Top Ten.

Let's get The Indifferent Five out of the way first. Games that are aight, I suppose. Take them or leave them, up to you.

Alien Zombie Death, PomPom Games

Cogs, Lazy 8 Studios

Reflect Missile, Q-Games 

Swords & Soldiers, Ronimo Games

Zen Bound, Secret Exit

Congratulations one and all, if only for avoiding the next category.

Yep, you don't want to be the answer to the question What Was That 1 Even Put On The List For? It was actually a little tough this time out because while I did have a good few grumbles in this batch, they weren't quite the fault of the games in question, and the titles did deserve to keep their place.

Apart from one, obviously. One that wasn't much of a game in the traditional sense, and one that might cause nightmares for those who spend too long with the little rascal...

What Was EyePet Even Put On The List For?

What is it even?

What do you replace EyePet with then? This was a little tricky too because I wanted to choose a game on the assumption that I was replacing games in the same time period as the first 1001 list was written, so my cut-off was early 2010. I was also trying to find games that didn't make an appearance in the second edition, either, but luckily for me, one title did leap out at me as an answer to You Forgot What?!

Yes, the servers have long since been shut down, and so too has the studio behind MAG, or Massive Action Game if you want to get specific, but for a time it was my first-person shooter of choice.

The PC gamers might have scoffed at it having 256 players, but when you come from a console background where 16 or 32 is the norm, having game modes tailored to 64, 128, and finally 256 players was a little mindblowing for many.

I've got great memories of it, including playing alongside some of the devs, on their lunch break, I think, as we redlined the opposition on one map (meaning the enemy just couldn't get out of their spawn area without facing a wall of incoming lead). I even got the Platinum trophy, though I have a hunch it was after they reduced some of the requirements for the other trophies, so it's like scuffed platinum or something.

Anyway, those were the good old days, and their time has long passed.

You know what isn't long passed? The games that make up the Top Ten list, and you can play them all without relying on multiplayer server support. I think. I don't check multiplayer stuff too often, I just can't compete with the youth anymore.

Is this Top Ten going to make much sense to an outsider looking for an objective ranking? Nope! On with the list.

10: Plants vs. Zombies, PopCap Games

It's simple, the end of a level gives you something new to try in the next, it's real easy to immediately dive into the next level with your new seeds, what's that? I've been playing for how long?

9: Neptune's Pride, Iron Helmet Games

I really want to play this with people I know, but that probably requires them to play a practice game for a month to see if they're on board with the idea...

8: Mass Effect 2, BioWare

This is almost a placeholder entry. It's not the 8th best game of the batch at all, it's higher than that, but as I've not technically played it, I can't technically rank it. Not that that has stopped me before, I suppose, but let's give these other titles a chance to shine before Mass Effect 2 overtakes them.

7: The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks, Nintendo EAD

The best Zelda, the best mode of transport. 'Nuff said.

6: WWE SmackDown vs. Raw 2010, Yuke's

It's just dumb fun, isn't it? Though it's cinematic dumb fun this time around, which is an interesting change.

5: Wii Sports Resort, Nintendo EAD Group No. 2

Some of it could be ignored, the rest of it really shouldn't. Best Nintendo Wii game? Best outside of anything with Mario on it, at least?

4: Shadow Complex, Chair Entertainment, Epic Games

I don't quite know what it is that I really like about it, but I really like something about it enough to want to keep exploring.

3: Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War II, Relic Entertainment

One of the great discoveries of this 1001 list for me. I do need to brush up on my strategy before facing any more Ork war bosses, though.

2: Skate 2, EA Black Box

It shows its age these days, but it's as close as anyone can get to being an actual skateboarder without seeing blood. Sweat definitely makes an appearance while playing, and tears might not be too far away either in some challenges.

A few of these games could have found themselves in the top spot, especially factoring in recency bias and the like, but I opted to give the number 1 to a title that has proven itself to stand the test of time. It's not the best of the series, but Uncharted 2: Among Thieves is the best at the time of writing the 1001 list, and as I said then, you've just got to play them all.

And now we come to the very last Topper Than That 10 list, a running leaderboard of the best of the best. It has been rock solid for many a Milestone Award post, often with only a single new entry. This is the last time anything can muscle their way onto the list that defines who I am as a gamer if anything - it's certainly not an objective fact, but I'll fight for every one of these titles...

10: Portal, Valve

This was a triumph. I'm making a note here: "Huge success."

9: Uncharted: Drake's Fortune, Naughty Dog

No Fortune, no Thieves. And I prefer the greens of the first game, I guess.

8: Assassin's Creed II, Ubisoft Montréal

You know you've lost the will to follow along with the AC series when UbiSoft announces something or other and you can't even be bothered to click through to the article to find out what it is. The future of the series? Give me the past, when it was great.

7: Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, Konami Computer Entertainment Japan

Have there been any new discoveries of ridiculous tiny details? Any more absolutely bizarre videos of Monkey-masked Santa Snake? No? Why not?

6: Grand Theft Auto: Vice City, Rockstar North

YouTube suggested some videos about the history of VC speedrunning. I wanted to play some VC.

5: Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas, Rockstar North

It then suggested some videos about the history of SA speedrunning, because now I'm into the rabbit hole and digging deeper. I wanted to play some SA too.

4: The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, Nintendo EAD

And still, it serves as the one link to the early home consoles. Surrounded by the big boys, this champion defies the odds and inspires us all.

3: Front Mission 3, Square

It's been too long since I've even seen mention of a mech game, in or out of video games. That's got to change. Looking forward to stomping around in this one.

2: Killzone 2, Guerrilla Games

The aesthetics, though! Mmmmmmm.

1: Metal Gear Solid, Konami Computer Entertainment Japan

It is, put simply, the game that changed the game. And I really want the board game based on the game that changed the game, but noooooo, we can't have nice things, can we? Sort it out, someone, please.

Boom! No change at the top. Nothing good enough to crack into The Topper Than That 10, which means The 1001/1001 Milestone Awards, and therefore the 1001 list, are done and dusted. That's all there is to it****. I guess I'll have to find something else to do.

Don't know what, though.

I think I might go for a walk.

Yeah. That sounds nice.

* Nothing is ever finished, only abandoned.

** Does emulating count as playing? Does playing for ten minutes count as playing?

*** I haven't been able to get all games. Platform exclusives, arcade cabinets, games literally lost to time... I tried, honest.

**** Or is it?

Alien Zombie Death

Pew pew pew, just like the good old days.

The 1001 list is a mostly chronological trip through video gaming. While it appears here and there to lump together similar games, more often than not it's a case of highlighting notable titles as and when they get released, allowing us to follow along with the developments and look back at where we've come from.

That basically means that we're not going to end on a carefully selected bang - not unless you're the type of person who loves the PlayStation Portable and the teeny tiny downloadable titles you could find for it, titles like Alien Zombie Death.

The controls are simple. The graphics are appropriate for the file size. The gameplay evokes titles from a long time ago. But I've come so far in this 1001 list that it'd be silly to end it like that. Let's fire it up and see what it's made of. Maybe we'll end with a bang after all.

Neptune's Pride

The almost-final frontier.

It may not look like much, but Neptune's Pride has already been awarded one of the highest achievements a game can have on a PC. No, it hasn't been installed on the C Drive, it's a web-based game, and it has gotten its tab pinned. Can you believe it?

Well, it would probably help if I explained what Neptune's Pride was. In short, it's a 4X game set in a randomly generated galaxy, full of aliens with one goal: own the majority of stars.

Who, if anyone, will work together and remain at peace until the inevitable backstabbing must occur? How will your galactic empire develop? What aspect will it flourish in? Wealth? Science? Huge numbers of warships?

I don't have a clue, but I'm looking forward to finding out.

Chime

Charity begins at home?

Source // Steam

What is Chime? It's a little bit like Tetris, only not really, and it's a little bit like Lumines, but not that either. It's musical, but it isn't, and it's about making shapes with unusual puzzle pieces, sort of.

What I do know is that it's just a tad addicting, so let's find out why.

Heavy Rain

Jason.

Source // MobyGames

As technology progressed, video games started to look more and more like movies, not just in the graphics department, but in the storytelling, too. They're both visual mediums, and the language of film and television can easily be brought over and used in cutscenes. But what happens with the gameplay? Can gameplay be cinematic, or is it jarring to watch a scripted scene and then be dumped back into a first-person shooter, for example?

Again, technological progress can allow your gameplay to look identical to your cutscenes to help blend the two together, but can we do better than that? Can we create the ultimate interactive movie and truly blur the lines between cinema and gaming?

Well, David Cage has already tried it with Fahrenheit, and the next attempt is with Heavy Rain, which follows the case of the Origami Killer. Will he be caught before he kills again? Who is he anyway? What other horrors must our heroes face? Popcorn optional.

Army of TWO: The 40th Day

"How hard is it for you NOT to kill somebody?"

Source // PlayStation

Here's what I know of Army of TWO: The 40th Day before playing it: two masked mercenary dudes bro their way through whatever warzone they find themselves in, and they wear customized riot masks.

Here's what I didn't know of Army of TWO: The 40th Day before playing it: it's the second of three Army of TWO games. How did this concept get three whole games out of it? What are video games even doing in the 2010s?

I don't know where I first heard of Army of TWO but I can safely say I wasn't too bothered about whether I played it or not, and so I didn't. Should I have not missed an opportunity to buddy up and take on the world while donning a weird mask?

BioShock 2

Who's yer daddy?

BioShock never captured my attention back in the day, and sticking a number on the end and releasing BioShock 2 didn't really do anything to help change that either.

For whatever reason it was, I just wasn't interested in diving beneath the waves and shooting through the ruins of Rapture. Was it the setting that didn't engage me? Were there just too many first-person shooters that I was interested in playing instead?

It wasn't until playing BioShock for this 1001 list that I finally got around to seeing what the fuss was about (and quickly realizing I'd have a better time if I installed the Remastered version instead), before concluding that while it didn't floor me, I could see it was a solid game to play.

Is BioShock 2 more of the same, or is there more to this underwater paradise that needs to be investigated? Without wanting to resort to 'diving right in' again, let's get our feet wet once more.

Mass Effect 2

"Just once I'd like to ask someone for help and hear them say, 'Sure. Let's go. Right now. No strings attached.'"

I do try to show off a game in its opening image, but I must admit that this isn't exactly the best depiction of BioWare's stellar space RPG sequel, Mass Effect 2, and there's a good reason for it - I'm still yet to play through Mass Effect.

Gutting what didn't work from the first game and cramming the space left over with hours and hours more dialogue between you and the many characters you'll meet across the galaxy, Mass Effect 2 is introduced to us in the 1001 list as the streamlined, story-lead game of science fiction adventuring.

Is streamlining an epic RPG possible? Have we lost anything in the decision to focus on what's important? Is there enough room in the galaxy for all of these characters to coexist? Let's get stuck in already.

VVVVVV

So tempted to make this entire post a string of V's...

Looks a little old, VVVVVV, doesn't it? It's meant to, being heavily inspired by Commodore 64 titles like Jet Set Willy. It's almost like the 1001 list has decided to remind us where video games came from, all those decades ago.

How far have we come? We've come all the way from brutally difficult platformers to... brutally difficult platformers built on nostalgia for brutally difficult platformers. Lovely. Well, let's hit 'run' on this one and see how quickly we end up face first in a spike trap.

Max & the Magic Marker

Scribble me this.

Source // Nintendo

Remember Crayon Physics? Would you be more interested in it if that kind of gameplay was found in a platformer, instead of a physics puzzler? Would you want to play more of it if you were guiding a kid through a level, dealing with monsters and trying to catch an escaped cartoon drawing?

If you do, it seems Max & the Magic Marker will be right up your street, because that's pretty much what it is. Crayon Physics crossed with a platformer, and you can already imagine the kind of things you'll get up to.

Time Gentlemen, Please!

"I have.... friends. ....people on the outside who want to see me... eat some cake."

When I think 'point and click', I think 'Oh, no, please, anything but that'. Generally, that is. When I think about it in the context of this 1001 list, I'm reminded that I still need to go back to Broken Sword, Grim Fandango, and even Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis. Oh, and a few Monkey Island adventures too.

Even though I know I'm awful at finding the often obscure solutions to the many puzzles in these games, their usually humourous stories and strong characters are worth putting in the time for. You can tell stories differently in point and click games. You can get to explore a character's thoughts and attitudes in ways that other games just don't touch.

But the genre had still fallen behind by the time 2010 rolled around. Wouldn't it be nice to go back in time and enjoy them in their prime? That's not the premise in Time Gentlemen, Please!, but this is certainly a love letter to the genre. One written by two foul-mouthed idiots, but a love letter nonetheless.

Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War II

"Do not waste what the Emporer provides!"

Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War was a phenomenal game for me, seemingly coming out of nowhere to become one of the highlights of this 1001 list. I've started but not finished the Winter Assault DLC, and there are two more after that, full of new armies to base-build and Zerg-rush across the galaxy to purge the enemy, whomever it may be. That's what it's all about in the far future - war.

Following Dawn of War was Company of Heroes, the Second World War retheme, if you will, though it's much more than that. I've played it twice as much as I've played Dawn of War now, some 32 hours, finishing all the DLC and generally loving everything I was doing.

I like it even more than Dawn of War, but now the Emporer is back with Warhammer 40,000: Dawn of War II, which takes a little of Company of Heroes, rethemes it back into the grim darkness of the far future and then reinvents the gameplay almost entirely to focus even more on your squads and even less on your base building... just stop, I can't wait any longer, let me play already.

PixelJunk Shooter

Is that a warm, welcoming glow, or a hot, dangerous one?

Source // PlayStation

Gravity. Love it or hate it, it's here to stay, and as soon as it could be modelled to any degree of accuracy in a video game, games were built around obeying its laws, including a great many that subtly taught generation after generation how to fly - and crash - spaceships.

Lunar Lander, Exile, Gravity Crash and more I'm sure have crossed this 1001 list as physics-based challenges involving spaceships shooting enemy forces, bombing infrastructure, and rescuing stranded companions, and these games just don't stop coming.

PixelJunk Shooter is the next in line, but the twist in this PlayStation 3 title is that gravity plays as much of a role in-game as fluid dynamics. Are you ready to safely wrap your head around a lava flow?

A Boy and His Blob

How long does this jelly bean fuel you, lil Blob?

Source // PlayStation

A Nintendo might as well be the home of the platformer. Sure, every other console, handheld, and computer under the sun has had platformers, but there's something about those that appear on Nintendo hardware that stands out.

Maybe it's because of Mario standing head and shoulders above the rest. Maybe it's because the generally weaker hardware has pushed developers to work within limitations and direct their creativity and skill towards only two dimensions.

A long time ago, the NES was the home to a small boy and a smaller blob, and two decades later, the Wii provides the platform for the puzzle-platformer A Boy and His Blob to stand out once more.

Grab yourself some jelly beans and put on your thinking caps. You're going to need both.

Wii Sports Resort

You're really going to need the wrist strap.

Source // Nintendo

I was fairly certain that I hadn't played the original Wii Sports until 2020, some fourteen years after its release, and if that was the case for the entertainment juggernaut that was Wii Sports, what do you think happened with its MotionPlus enhanced sequel, Wii Sports Resort? Did I see the error of my ways and seek to correct my poor judgement as soon as possible?

Hell no. I didn't get around to experiencing the insane overhaul until 2020 when I played a whole bunch of Nintendo Wii titles to get them out of the way before the batteries died and I keeled over from exhaustion.

Most active weekend of the year, that gaming session...

Cogs

You spin me right round.

Who's ready to feel dumb again? What is this run of games, eh? What chance do I have of getting anywhere into sliding block puzzle Cogs in this state of mind?

Also, what's this LOLspeak option?

NBA 2K10

Someone say something about Tuesday nights?

Source // PlayStation

Basketball. That's a much better sport than golf. Keeps itself out of the countryside, played on a small and impossibly squeaky court under a million light bulbs, and instead of having to purchase an entire set of clubs that you can't tell the difference between, you simply have to be lucky enough to have been born with a few extra feet in height, ensuring that everybody can play some B-ball.

I've played some basketball. Wasn't very good. I've played some basketball video games too and actually played them long before this 1001 list introduced them to us. Again, I wasn't very good. I've never owned a basketball ball game. I've only just played them.

But now I own NBA 2K10, picked up secondhand from the electronics store because for some reason I had completely overlooked its existence on this 1001 list. Whoops.

Tiger Woods PGA Tour 10

Can the Gophers have their holes back?

Source // Giant Bomb

I think I'm right in saying that Tiger Woods PGA Tour 10 is the last golf game on this 1001 list. Wii Sports Resort might have a take on golf, but it has takes on everything, so that doesn't really count. Tiger Woods here is the last chance the sport has of convincing me that it deserves to exist.

Harsh words, perhaps, and probably unwarranted, as skimming over the many golf games the 1001 list has thrown up has lead me to believe that I am, in fact, fine with golf as a game, so long as it is on the more cartoony side of things. Golfing sims can get out of here.

If PGA Tour 10 is aiming for realism, there's a strong chance I'll not like it. Who makes it? EA Sports? Ah. Well, let's just pad out this foregone conclusion a little bit more, shall we?

Mighty Flip Champs

Flipping hell.

The two-dimensional platformer can already provide a puzzling time for players even before you introduce gimmicks like time distortion or, in the case of Mighty Flip Champs!, multiple overlapping stages, accessible through a quick hop into another dimension, but some players want and seek out these brain-melting games.

Still feeling dumb after failing to make swift progress through Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box, I'm about to tackle a 'simple little platform puzzler' that will inevitably begin to sprawl into something more monstrous in no time at all.

How far do I think I'll get? Not very, but I might surprise myself, right?

Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box

"You haven't figured it out yet, have you?"

The Professor and his cockney assistant Luke have returned at last, with a hundred-odd more brainteasers that all come together to tell us the tale of Pandora's box, though it goes by another name here: Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box - except in regions where it does actually go by Pandora's Box. Hooray for localization!

It was localization into English that took two years for this sequel, but you welcome the efforts, otherwise, you'd be solving everything in Japanese, which would add to the difficulty just a little bit...

Let's get onto this case before the clues all dry up then.

Zeno Clash

Can't we solve our differences at range?

There are many reasons for a list such as the 1001 list to exist. Highlighting technological achievements, for example. Uncovering forgotten and overlooked gems. Introducing players to new and unforgettable experiences, even when they wish they'd rather forget about the weird first-person beat 'em up set in what must be the most unusual setting under the sun that is Zeno Clash.

Sorry, that might spoil what I think of this game ever so slightly...

Muramasa: The Demon Blade

Blink and you'll miss it.

The Nintendo Wii was not a powerhouse compared to the bigger home consoles, but as sales figures have proven, the average consumer doesn't care about the raw numbers under the hood. They want a damn good time, and for many, that meant waggling a Wiimote controller.

You'd think that having players waggling a Wiimote in the same way as they'd waggle a sword would make for some great gameplay, but the developers behind Muramasa: The Demon Blade knew better than to churn out a crappy waggler. There are basically only two buttons in this game, and just look at what you can do with them.

Look. Up there.

There's a lot to look at.

Space Invaders Infinity Gene

Intelligent design?

Source // Square Enix

The last time I played Space Invaders was extreme, by which I mean I played Space Invaders Extreme for the Nintendo DS, which turned a space shooter (remember when every other game on this 1001 list was a space shooter?) into a sort of musical instrument.

It also came with every other colour that simply wasn't possible when all you had available was white, so Extreme looked pretty cool as well.

Now, I'm well aware the screenshot above is a little lacking in the colour department, but that's not the case with every single part of Space Invaders Infinity Gene, an iOS reboot, I guess, that's heavy on evolving Space Invaders into the next big thing.

Reflect Missile

a.k.a. Trajectile

Source // Nintendo

We've already had one new take on Breakout in the form of Shatter, but the block-smashing formula can be made into more of a puzzle instead, as demonstrated by DSiWare title Reflect Missile.

Rather than a paddle and ball, you've a launchpad and rockets, and while they can bounce too, you won't really be playing this game with that aspect in mind.

Zen Bound

All tied up.

Source // MobyGames

Keeping your hands busy in a world without fidget spinners can be tricky for someone who wants to do something, but doesn't want to do something too involved. Just idly fiddling with something for no real purpose other than to play, chill out, and pass the time is something I can get behind, depending on the something, I suppose.

In 2009, if you had an iOS device and wanted to chill out in such a way, you might have opted for the wrap 'em up that is Zen Bound, a simple little puzzler where you just wind a piece of string around objects.

That's it, nothing more taxing than that, but you can bet it gets thinker than you would have initially thought.

The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks

Toot-toooooot.

Few people seem to like the best incarnation of Link that The Legend of Zelda series has ever seen, but I'm one of them. Wind Waker still looks fantastic to this day, and its Phantom Hourglass sequel on the Nintendo DS brings us more of his adventures on the go.

But what if you get seasick, or simply don't like boats? The best Link has you covered in The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks, swapping the waves for the rails as you get behind a steam engine and criss-cross the land instead of the sea - and who doesn't like trains? Trains are great.

I'm looking forward to this one. Put your mask on and climb aboard.

Torchlight

Dog! To the shops!

Loot. Everyone loves loot, right? Ever since Diablo, crawling through a dungeon to shove everything that isn't nailed to the floor into your inventory is pretty cool.

I didn't have particularly good experiences with Diablo itself but casting my mind back to any of The Elder Scrolls games, I'll have memories of not being able to move because of being weighed down by loot. Remembering Borderlands, I'll be reminded of how difficult it can be to drop one weapon for another, even if, strictly speaking, the numbers are better on this new one.

But these games aren't pure dungeon crawlers, are they? Not like Diablo, and not like spiritual Diablo sequel, Torchlight.

One down. One very big dungeon. Are you ready to push deeper into it?

You, Me and the Cubes

Careful now. Wouldn't want to fall off into the void, would we?

The Nintendo Wii is no stranger to odd games thanks to its motion controls, and neither is Kenji Eno, he of One-Dot Enemies fame not too long ago in this 1001 list.

On the surface, You, Me and the Cubes is a puzzle game about balancing people on cubes hanging out in the void. Underneath that surface, well, things get a little weird.

Red Faction: Guerrilla

I came in like a wrecking ball.

A long time ago, back on the PlayStation 2, I took a punt on Red Faction, a first-person shooter set on Mars whose gimmick was that the environment around you was entirely destructible. Couldn't see a way through? Whip out your rocket launcher and make one. Enemy hiding behind cover? Reduce that cover to rubble.

It got a sequel that I also played, but by the end of both games, I couldn't tell you what they were about, beyond blowing up walls. Their selling point was fun, but not so long-lasting, and any desires for a third game felt largely hopeless - I certainly wasn't bothered about getting one. What else could they do?

How about an explosive third-person smash 'em up where you can knock out entire buildings with a sledgehammer as you fight against the EDF and take Mars back, guerrilla warfare style, in Red Faction: Guerrilla?

At the time of release, I wasn't really interested. Now? Well, let's find out if I was wrong.

Shadow Complex

"At least the Vice President is safe."

Metroidvania. I have a better time with Metroid than Castlevania, but truth be told, I think I have a better time with games that are inspired by the two, rather than games that have their names attached.

I can remember playing CounterSpy on the PlayStation Vita, set in a fictional, James Bond-like Cold War that has you sneak around huge bases looking for nuclear weapons or something. I liked it because it reminded me of another similar game that I'd watched on YouTube, long before.

That game was Shadow Complex, a Metroidvania game brought to life through the Unreal Engine, starring yet another dark-haired white guy stumbling into the extraordinary, gun in hand but no desire to kill.

That'll probably change in no time...

The Dishwasher: Dead Samurai

We're going to need more dish soap.

Source // MobyGames

There have been some strange titles on this 1001 list, hasn't there? Titles that don't give anything away, titles that don't seem to make sense in English, and titles like The Dishwasher: Dead Samurai.

I always mistook it for The Dead Dishwasher Samurai, which is also somewhat accurate to who the main character of this game is: A dishwasher who was dead but has come back to life with flashbacks of being a samurai. At least, I think that's right. There's a lot more going on than that.

To find out what's what, we'll just have to let the hacking and the slashing commence.

Trine

Working together to solve a common problem? What a novel idea.

Side-scrolling adventures with ultra-high production values were a rarity in 2009, says the 1001 list as it introduces us to side-scrolling action-platformer physics-puzzler Trine.

I don't know where I picked Trine up, and definitely don't know why Trine 3 is in my Steam library either, because I haven't got a clue what this game is about, and the title isn't spilling any secrets either. It looks like the kind of game you'd only know existed if you were the exact target audience it was aiming for.

If that's the case, I don't think I'm that target audience...

Scribblenauts

Write Anything, Solve Everything.

Source // Nintendo

They always say the pen is mightier than the sword, don't they? How can we best put that to the test? Pen vs Sword fight? Probably not that. What about the Nintendo DS game, Scribblenauts?

Maxwell's a clever chap with an out-of-the-box imagination - or he could have, depending on who is playing - and armed with a notebook that can summon anything into existence to help solve his problems, just like that.

That's quite a powerful pen to wield. I suppose it could even create a sword out of thin air, too. Can a sword do that?

Starship Patrol

a.k.a Starship Defense

Source // Nintendo

The Tower Defense genre has always been a home for small projects as well as large ones. It started with Flash games for your browser, and the gameplay is something that doesn't take much effort to get used to at all.

As such, it's an ideal genre for a downloadable Nintendo DSiWare title by the name of Starship Patrol, or your regional equivalent - and perhaps more obviously relating to its genre, Starship Defense.

You've got a starship to defend, and turrets to defend it with. You know the rest.

The Beatles: Rock Band

While my Guitar gently clacks.

Source // PlayStation

I'm going to come right out and say it. I'm not playing The Beatles: Rock Band.

I'm not going to hunt down plastic instruments and multiple USB microphones - I don't even know how they'd all connect to the PlayStation 3 anyway. I'm not going to welcome people into my home to join me in clacking and bashing those instruments or wailing into those microphones. I'm just not going to do it.

(Insert record scratch here)

But part of me wants to.

Uncharted 2: Among Thieves

"Yeah, good luck, Pal. That's almost impossible to- Oh, you did it."

Source // PlayStation

Two things are true with regards to this post: you really should have played Uncharted 2: Among Thieves by now, and no, I couldn't tell you which spectacular set pieces are in this one rather than in the other games of the series.

Yes, my memories of Uncharted are a little hazy, but I blame that on the fact that all of them are worthy of your time, taking you on adventures across the world, through myth, and mystery, and the exciting life in general of modern-day explorer/treasure hunter/thief Nathan Drake.

Pistols at the ready, wise-cracks and wit sharpened to a point... we've got some adventuring to do.

Skate 2

Blaow!

Source // PlayStation

Do you know the reason why so many folks have been trying to get EA to do Skate 4? Skate 2.

You'd think it'd be because of the Skate series in general, but after Skate 3 took things a little too far, and then absolutely nothing interesting happened in the world of skateboarding video games for the next decade, players wanted a return to the kind of sports game that was a breath of fresh air, refined a little.

That's a long way of saying Skate was great, but Skate 2 was the bee's knees, the dog's danglies, the shit, so to speak.

The Flickit system was back and better than ev- oh, I'm sorry. Let's introduce the Flickit system for those of you who only know of Tony Hawk's Pro Skater...

Spider: The Secret of Bryce Manor

The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout...

Source // MobyGames

A long, long time ago, in the arcades of the early 1980s, was a puzzler by the name of Qix. You had to draw lines to create boxes, sectioning off the screen from the enemies buzzing about and ruining your chances of filling up your level quota. Carve out 75% of the play area and the level is yours. Rinse and repeat as enemies moved faster and there were more of them.

It was addictive, it was tricky, but it was ultimately short lived. But what if it was given a complete makeover? What if it could be thematic, rather than abstract? What if it could have a story, a point to doing it all?

Strictly speaking, Spider: The Secret of Bryce Manor isn't Qix remade, but it's a good place to start thinking about it.

The Sims 3

Reddage!

Source // Steam

My history with The Sims series has been minimal at best. The Sims has never grabbed my attention. I've never seen the point in playing it, I don't know what the fuss is about, but do enjoy your digital dolls house without me, I'm fine over here, thanks.

It wasn't until playing The Sims 2 for this 1001 list the way it was meant to be played - as a joke - that I started to get an idea of why people spend hours and hours in this absurd life simulation. But even then, I know for sure I didn't pass the hour mark and would bet I barely got to 30 minutes before calling it quits.

So how will The Sims 3 fare? I know how it's meant to be played now: with absolutely no semblance of sense or purpose. The playground is ready and waiting... and so is the rest of the neighbourhood.

Sin & Punishment: Successor to the Skies

"There's no escape from the Nebulox."

Back on the Nintendo 64, there was an on-rails shooter by the name of Sin and Punishment that was incredibly weird but playable, despite being a Japanese-only release. The only reason I know of it is because of this 1001 list, and my conclusions after playing it were along the lines of "well, that's was fun, I guess, but I don't really need more, do I?"

Apparently, damnit, we do need more, because it has a sequel on the Nintendo Wii, Sin & Punishment: Successor to the Skies, or your regional subtitle equivalent.

Last time out, mostly because it was all in Japanese, I had to hit the Internet to learn just what on Earth was going on. This time out... well, I've got to do the same.

Resident Evil 5

"More and more I find myself wondering if it's all worth fighting for. Maybe one day, I'll find out."

An awful lot of games can trace back some of their DNA to Resident Evil 4, the third-person, over-the-shoulder survival horror that managed to merge the old with the new. Despite not quite liking how it feels to play and still stumbling to get to grips with it, I can see how it shines to many people.

But how do you follow RE4? Do you lean into that new control scheme, even if it means pushing the gameplay towards the action genre, potentially bringing you a new audience, but perhaps irking some of your old fans? Do you play it safe and stick with what works, tweaking what needs tweaking to keep everything up to date?

Resident Evil 5 had some big footsteps to follow, and from what I can tell, for every player that thought it succeeded, there's another player who thought it didn't. Maybe they should buddy up and work things out together in the scorching heat of a bio-terrorized Africa.